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A dog walks into a restaurant and sits at one of the tables. The waiter immediately shows up and promptly points to a sign on the wall that says " No dogs allowed !!"

The dog looks at the waiter and says " So who's smoking ? "

This was my late dad's favorite joke I still laugh more at his telling it than the actual joke :14_relaxed: 

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Here are two favorites from my childhood. Not because they are all that  funny, they don't really make any sense, that's the point,  but because of the reaction people have after you tell them. They either just look at you, because they don't get it or they have a kind of funny, nervous laugh, because they don't get it, but they think they should.

Kids do love them though.

 

Q: You're rowing your rowboat across your front yard and your front rear wheel falls off. How pancakes can you fit in a dog house?

A: None, because dogs don't like ice-cream on their bones!

 

Two seals are sitting in a tub.

One seal says to the other seal. "Pass me the soap."

The other seal answers, "What do I look like? A chair?"

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  A pirate goes into a bar and the bartender says: "Long time since I've seen you , man, you look terrible".  The pirate says: "I feel fine".

The bartender says:  "Well, you didn"t have that wooden leg last time I saw you".  "Well, I got into a battle and a cannon ball hit me in the leg,  but I'm ok"

"Well you didn't have that hook on your arm either".  The pirate says:  "Got in a sword fight and lost my hand".

The bartender says: "What about the eye patch?"   The pirate replies: " Well a bunch of sea gulls flew over the boat and when i looked up one of them crapped right in my eye."

The bartender says :" How did that make you lose your eye?"  The pirate replies: "It was the first day with the hook".

 

 

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