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Corny Jokes


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  • 2 weeks later...

Two men were sitting next to one another at Murphys Pub in London, and after awhile, one of the blokes turned to the other and said, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.”

“Yes, that I am!” the bloke responded, to which the first one replied, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”

“Im from Dublin, I am,” the other bloke said, and the first one replied, “So am I!”

“Mother Mary and begora,” the other bloke said. “And what street did you live on in Dublin?”

“A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town,” he replied, to which the first one said, “Faith and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?”

“Well now, I went to St. Marys, of course,” the other bloke said, with the first one replying, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”

“Well, now, lets see. I graduated in 1964,” the other bloke said.

“The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us!” the first bloke exclaimed. “I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Marys in 1964 my own self!”

At this point, a woman named Vicky came in and sat down at the bar. The bartender Brian walked over to her and said, “It’s going to be a long night tonight.”

“Why do you say that, Brian?” Vicky asked.

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”


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  • 3 weeks later...

So, I just got home for a week at he Outer Banks, Kill Devil Hills specifically. Left the laptop at home and I now find it hard to believe that you all are letting this thread wither away. What no comedian wanna be's? Ashamed of your jokes or has Matt put a muzzle on you? Well, not ME! 

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'

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