rjac Posted April 12, 2020 Report Posted April 12, 2020 What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? "Aye Maytee". Chadster, coneyraven, JLMoran and 2 others 5 Quote
Ditchdoc Posted April 13, 2020 Report Posted April 13, 2020 How did the trees react to spring? They were re leaved. Ogilthorpe and Chadster 2 Quote
Chadster Posted April 14, 2020 Report Posted April 14, 2020 What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk. Ogilthorpe, JLMoran, WAAAYTOOO and 1 other 4 Quote
Ampurp85 Posted April 15, 2020 Report Posted April 15, 2020 What do packages and social media share? A post-al system What's clever and can fit in your hand? A smartphone Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO, Chadster and 1 other 4 Quote
Chadster Posted April 22, 2020 Report Posted April 22, 2020 WAAAYTOOO, JLMoran, rjac and 1 other 4 Quote
rjac Posted April 22, 2020 Report Posted April 22, 2020 On 4/13/2020 at 11:16 PM, Chadster said: What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk. What do you call a snow man in the summer? A puddle. Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO, Chadster and 2 others 5 Quote
coneyraven Posted April 22, 2020 Report Posted April 22, 2020 RWDW1204, Chadster, JLMoran and 4 others 7 Quote
JLMoran Posted April 22, 2020 Report Posted April 22, 2020 2 hours ago, coneyraven said: Great, and now I have Screaming Jay Hawkins' "Constipation Blues" playing in my head. aaaaaAAAAHHHHHH!!! Let it go! Let it go! Let it GO! Let it GOOOOOOOOOO! Ogilthorpe, coneyraven and Chadster 3 Quote
rjac Posted May 2, 2020 Report Posted May 2, 2020 I had a dream last night that I saw a color that I had never seen before. When I woke up this morning, I realized it was just a figment of my imagination. Ogilthorpe 1 Quote
HeWhoWaits Posted May 4, 2020 Report Posted May 4, 2020 On 5/2/2020 at 3:09 PM, rjac said: I had a dream last night that I saw a color that I had never seen before. When I woke up this morning, I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination. FIFY Quote
1978bucketlist Posted May 4, 2020 Report Posted May 4, 2020 How does death Vader like his toast? On the dark side. WAAAYTOOO, Ogilthorpe and Chadster 3 Quote
Chadster Posted May 8, 2020 Report Posted May 8, 2020 JLMoran, Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO and 2 others 5 Quote
coneyraven Posted May 8, 2020 Report Posted May 8, 2020 On 4/11/2020 at 5:01 PM, Chadster said: STEALING!!!! Thank You JLMoran, RWDW1204 and WAAAYTOOO 3 Quote
rjac Posted May 8, 2020 Report Posted May 8, 2020 (edited) On 5/4/2020 at 1:23 PM, 1978bucketlist said: How does death Vader like his toast? On the dark side. Did you know Darth Vader had a sister? Her name was Ella........... and of course their relationship had its ups and downs...... Edited May 8, 2020 by rjac added new info JLMoran, Chadster, WAAAYTOOO and 2 others 5 Quote
rjac Posted May 13, 2020 Report Posted May 13, 2020 Wow, no one else with corny Jokes? Here's a real doozy What do you call a chicken who counts her eggs?............a mathmachicken. RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO, Chadster and 2 others 5 Quote
1978bucketlist Posted May 14, 2020 Report Posted May 14, 2020 What did one traffic light say to other traffic light? Don’t look! I’m changing! JLMoran, WAAAYTOOO, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote
rjac Posted May 15, 2020 Report Posted May 15, 2020 A naked man walks into a costume party with his girlfriend on his back. He said "I.m a turtle". He was asked, "what's that on your back" to which he replied "that's Michelle". Ogilthorpe, JLMoran, coneyraven and 4 others 7 Quote
Chadster Posted May 17, 2020 Report Posted May 17, 2020 JLMoran, RCIfan1912, coneyraven and 4 others 2 3 2 Quote
Chadster Posted May 23, 2020 Report Posted May 23, 2020 SpeedNoodles, Ogilthorpe, JLMoran and 1 other 4 Quote
mworkman Posted May 24, 2020 Report Posted May 24, 2020 Ogilthorpe, Neesa, WAAAYTOOO and 2 others 1 4 Quote
rjac Posted May 24, 2020 Report Posted May 24, 2020 Two men were sitting next to one another at Murphys Pub in London, and after awhile, one of the blokes turned to the other and said, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.” “Yes, that I am!” the bloke responded, to which the first one replied, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?” “Im from Dublin, I am,” the other bloke said, and the first one replied, “So am I!” “Mother Mary and begora,” the other bloke said. “And what street did you live on in Dublin?” “A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town,” he replied, to which the first one said, “Faith and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?” “Well now, I went to St. Marys, of course,” the other bloke said, with the first one replying, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?” “Well, now, lets see. I graduated in 1964,” the other bloke said. “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us!” the first bloke exclaimed. “I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Marys in 1964 my own self!” At this point, a woman named Vicky came in and sat down at the bar. The bartender Brian walked over to her and said, “It’s going to be a long night tonight.” “Why do you say that, Brian?” Vicky asked. “The Murphy twins are drunk again.” mworkman, Ogilthorpe, PRebecca and 3 others 6 Quote
rjac Posted May 26, 2020 Report Posted May 26, 2020 WAAAYTOOO, mworkman, Ogilthorpe and 1 other 4 Quote
Chadster Posted May 28, 2020 Report Posted May 28, 2020 rjac, RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO and 2 others 5 Quote
mworkman Posted May 29, 2020 Report Posted May 29, 2020 If this is a savings, i need some of that stuff there smoking. rjac, RCIfan1912, Ogilthorpe and 1 other 2 1 1 Quote
RCIfan1912 Posted May 29, 2020 Report Posted May 29, 2020 Just now, mworkman said: If this is a savings, i need some of that stuff there smoking. Yeah ok, that's a no for me. I'll stick to the free stuff in the island. Quote
mworkman Posted May 29, 2020 Report Posted May 29, 2020 Just now, RCIfan1912 said: Yeah ok, that's a no for me. I'll stick to the free stuff in the island. But $800 dollars is $800 dollars, that's a saving! Quote
Ogilthorpe Posted May 29, 2020 Report Posted May 29, 2020 Where do sheep go on vacation? The Baaaa-Haaaa-maas mworkman, RWDW1204, JLMoran and 2 others 5 Quote
rjac Posted June 8, 2020 Report Posted June 8, 2020 WAAAYTOOO, JLMoran, Ogilthorpe and 1 other 4 Quote
JLMoran Posted June 8, 2020 Report Posted June 8, 2020 You know, this thread is called CORNy jokes. I have not seen one single joke about corn here in five whole pages! Allow me to fix that... RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO, rjac and 3 others 6 Quote
rjac Posted June 24, 2020 Report Posted June 24, 2020 Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands. There are no canaries there either! WAAAYTOOO, JLMoran, mathbees and 1 other 4 Quote
rjac Posted July 13, 2020 Report Posted July 13, 2020 So, I just got home for a week at he Outer Banks, Kill Devil Hills specifically. Left the laptop at home and I now find it hard to believe that you all are letting this thread wither away. What no comedian wanna be's? Ashamed of your jokes or has Matt put a muzzle on you? Well, not ME! A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.''Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.' MrB, WAAAYTOOO, RWDW1204 and 2 others 5 Quote
FManke Posted July 13, 2020 Report Posted July 13, 2020 Why do raccoons eat out of trash cans? Because grocery stores are to hard to tip over. WAAAYTOOO and Ogilthorpe 2 Quote
HeWhoWaits Posted July 14, 2020 Report Posted July 14, 2020 Why can't Pinocchio's nose be twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot. RWDW1204, Ogilthorpe and WAAAYTOOO 3 Quote
rjac Posted July 16, 2020 Report Posted July 16, 2020 My wife hasn't ordered anything from Amazon.com in a while. So, yesterday the UPS driver knocked on our door to see if we're okay. JLMoran, WAAAYTOOO, RWDW1204 and 1 other 3 1 Quote
FManke Posted July 18, 2020 Report Posted July 18, 2020 What do you feed a panda on Halloween? Bam-Boooo! WAAAYTOOO, JLMoran and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote
Big Tule Posted July 19, 2020 Report Posted July 19, 2020 FManke, WAAAYTOOO, Ogilthorpe and 1 other 4 Quote
Auto Posted July 22, 2020 Report Posted July 22, 2020 I can cut wood just by looking at it. It's true...I saw it with my own eyes. Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO and coneyraven 3 Quote
TempoGL Posted July 22, 2020 Report Posted July 22, 2020 Why did the single nurses change clothes after work and before going out for the evening? Because they "don't want no scrubs!" WAAAYTOOO 1 Quote
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