WAAAYTOOO Posted October 16, 2020 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2020 38 minutes ago, cruisellama said: Hadn't seen this one. That's an oldie bug goodie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted October 16, 2020 Report Share Posted October 16, 2020 A cruise ship captain was waiting to set sail, but didn't have as many people on board as he needed to make it worth while, so he got an idea, he would go to the boardwalk, and offer people half price for tickets. He got a couple of takers, but not enough. Then he got another idea, he would offer half price tickets, and free food! Again, he was able to spark the interest of a few more people, but he still needed to fill a couple more rooms. As he was brainstorming, he saw a little girl playing with a kitten, and he got an idea. He ran to a pet store and bought all of the kittens they had. Then brought them back to port, and offered a free kitten to anyone who bought a ticket. It worked like a charm, and before long he was out of kittens and had sold out of all his cabin space. Happily, he headed back to the bridge and prepared to cast off. His first mate smiled admirably at him, and said, "wow, captain, you did it, you sold all the tickets we have room for! " The captain replied, "Yeah, but it took meowers." Ogilthorpe, JLMoran, WAAAYTOOO and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coneyraven Posted October 16, 2020 Report Share Posted October 16, 2020 JLMoran, Big Tule, cruisellama and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted October 17, 2020 Report Share Posted October 17, 2020 Do you all have time for a the joke about the world's fastest cruise ship? Don't worry, it's a quick one liner Ogilthorpe and WAAAYTOOO 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted October 21, 2020 Report Share Posted October 21, 2020 RWDW1204, JLMoran, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted October 21, 2020 Report Share Posted October 21, 2020 1 hour ago, rjac said: That's a REAL corny joke. Pun intended..... WAAAYTOOO, JLMoran, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted October 22, 2020 Report Share Posted October 22, 2020 Did you hear about the cruise that was rated 3.14 out of 10? It was a pi-rate ship WAAAYTOOO and Ogilthorpe 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coneyraven Posted October 22, 2020 Report Share Posted October 22, 2020 JLMoran, cruisellama, RWDW1204 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted October 25, 2020 Report Share Posted October 25, 2020 Why should you never start a conversation about the Titanic? Because that cruise ship is no ice-breaker. WAAAYTOOO, Ogilthorpe and coneyraven 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy & Sheryl Unwin Posted October 27, 2020 Report Share Posted October 27, 2020 Submarine racing WAAAYTOOO, Ogilthorpe, coneyraven and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted October 27, 2020 Report Share Posted October 27, 2020 Just in time for Halloween Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A: Pumpkin pi JLMoran, cruisellama, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted October 27, 2020 Report Share Posted October 27, 2020 Who cleans the sea? A mer-maid Ogilthorpe, JLMoran and WAAAYTOOO 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coneyraven Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO, RWDW1204 and 5 others 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy & Sheryl Unwin Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 Q: What swims at the bottom of the sea and scares the other fish ? A: Jack the Kipper WAAAYTOOO, JLMoran, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos. WAAAYTOOO 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 What did the church mouse say to the other mice? Have you accepted cheeses as your Lord and Savior? WAAAYTOOO, JLMoran, HeWhoWaits and 2 others 3 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted October 29, 2020 Report Share Posted October 29, 2020 What do fish take to stay healthy ? Vitamin Sea. JLMoran, WAAAYTOOO, rjac and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted October 29, 2020 Report Share Posted October 29, 2020 What happens if a cow doesn't shave? It grows a moo-stache. WAAAYTOOO, Ogilthorpe, cruisellama and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted October 29, 2020 Report Share Posted October 29, 2020 Why didn’t the sailors play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck Ogilthorpe, JLMoran and WAAAYTOOO 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted October 30, 2020 Report Share Posted October 30, 2020 How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears? A Buccaneer! WAAAYTOOO and Ogilthorpe 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coneyraven Posted October 31, 2020 Report Share Posted October 31, 2020 WAAAYTOOO, JLMoran and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLMoran Posted October 31, 2020 Report Share Posted October 31, 2020 A dog walks into a saloon. It’s limping badly and bleeding from one foot. The saloon quiets down as everyone stares. The dog stares back, slowly looking around, and says... ”I’m lookin’ for the man what shot m’ paw.” rjac, WAAAYTOOO and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 1, 2020 Report Share Posted November 1, 2020 Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate? A: Nothing—it just waved! JLMoran, WAAAYTOOO and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 2, 2020 Report Share Posted November 2, 2020 What has 8 legs, 8 arms and 8 eyes? 8 pirates. JLMoran, RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 5, 2020 Report Share Posted November 5, 2020 I once took a Spanish course on a cruise ship And I got lost at si Ogilthorpe, rjac and WAAAYTOOO 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 11, 2020 Report Share Posted November 11, 2020 What kind of grades does a pirate get in school? High seas! Ogilthorpe, JLMoran and WAAAYTOOO 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coneyraven Posted November 16, 2020 Report Share Posted November 16, 2020 Do They Allow Loud Laughing in Hawaii Or just A Low Ha? Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO, rjac and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLMoran Posted November 16, 2020 Report Share Posted November 16, 2020 20 minutes ago, coneyraven said: Do They Allow Loud Laughing in Hawaii Or just A Low Ha? :: GROOOAAAANNNNNN :: I have to have my kids read this thread. They will suddenly have a deep appreciation for just how MILD my own dad jokes are. PRebecca, coneyraven, rjac and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted November 16, 2020 Report Share Posted November 16, 2020 What do you call a proctologist is Jamaica?..........Pokey Mon. Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted November 16, 2020 Report Share Posted November 16, 2020 Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii? Or just a low ha....... Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted November 17, 2020 Report Share Posted November 17, 2020 On 11/10/2020 at 7:10 PM, cruisellama said: What kind of grades does a pirate get in school? High seas! What kind of grades does a pirate in school hope for? Low seas! cruisellama, Ogilthorpe and WAAAYTOOO 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 17, 2020 Report Share Posted November 17, 2020 Transcript of a radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Over. Americans: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Over. Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Over. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Over. Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course. Over. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. OVER. Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call. Over. JLMoran, PRebecca, emmef and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 18, 2020 Report Share Posted November 18, 2020 Why did the zombie eat the pirate? He wanted a career change, and heard that you ARR what you eat WAAAYTOOO, Ogilthorpe and RWDW1204 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 Why was the man fired from the calendar factory? For taking a day off. WAAAYTOOO, Ogilthorpe and RWDW1204 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coneyraven Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO and RWDW1204 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 20, 2020 Report Share Posted November 20, 2020 Did you hear about the pirate who became a great chef? He mastered the seven sea-sonings WAAAYTOOO and Ogilthorpe 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 If I were a superhero, I would be known as Typo Man. I would write all the wrongs. Ogilthorpe, coneyraven, JLMoran and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 A pirate walks into a bar, and the bar tender asks, "What's with the paper towel on your hat?" The pirate replies, "ARR - I got a Bounty on me head! " WAAAYTOOO, RWDW1204, coneyraven and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 27, 2020 Report Share Posted November 27, 2020 You know you overdid it at Thanksgiving when the Tupperware shouts, " Where are the leftovers?" WAAAYTOOO, rjac, JLMoran and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 27, 2020 Report Share Posted November 27, 2020 Why don't zombies like pirates? They're too salty... Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO and acesandeights 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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