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Posted
2 hours ago, twangster said:

Wife:  It's cold in here!

Husband: Go stand in the corner.

Wife: Why?

Husband: The corner is 90°

(After that, he doesn't remember anything before waking up in the hospital)

FIFY

Posted

A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!"

The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can.
The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast."
The sailor replies, "Well, you'd drink that fast too, if you had what I have."
The bartender says, "Oh? What do you have?"

"Fifty cents!"

Posted
9 hours ago, cruisellama said:

A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!"

The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can.
The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast."
The sailor replies, "Well, you'd drink that fast too, if you had what I have."
The bartender says, "Oh? What do you have?"

"Fifty cents!"

He should have had a premium beverage package.

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