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Corny Jokes


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This one is for all of the schoolteachers on board here, enjoy! 😎

A group of 4 year-olds were trying to get used to attending school, and the biggest hurdle that they found themselves facing came when their teacher told them that no baby talk would be allowed in her class room. “You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she was constantly telling them.

One day, she asked one student,  “Ben, what did you do over the weekend?” I went to visit my Nana,” he responded. “No, you went to visit your grandmother. Use big people words,” the teacher told him.

She then turned to another student named Kevin and asked what he did with his weekend. “I took a ride on a choo-choo,” Kevin replied. “No, you took a ride on a train. Use big people words,” the teacher admonished him.

Finally, she turned to a student named Tom and asked what he had done over the weekend. “I read a book,” the four year-old responded. “That’s wonderful,” the teacher said. “What book did you read?” Tom thought about her question for a second, then he puffed out his chest with great pride and said, “Winnie The Shit.”

 

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Two cruise passengers are lounging on sun beds, reading books. One notices that the other is reading a Che Guervara book.

The other passenger turns to him and asks 

“Have you read Marx?”

“Yes”, her replies. “I think it’s from sitting on these deck chairs so long.”

 
 
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Two bankers were the only survivors when their cruise ship sank. They were both clinging to a single life preserver. One banker, knowing that his colleague couldn’t swim, says, “I think I can make it to shore to get help. Can you float alone?”

The other banker replies, “How can you talk business at a time like this?”

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A Preist, a Minister and a Rabbi were having a discussion about the beginning of life. The Priest says, the beginning of life happens at conception. The Minister says, sorry, but I don't agree with you and says the beginning of life is at birth. The Rabbi says, you are both wrong. It says so in the Holy Scriptures that the beginning of life is when the dog dies, and the kids move away from home. 😎

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