HeWhoWaits Posted November 23, 2021 Report Share Posted November 23, 2021 Where do dads keep their jokes?In a dad-a-base. RWDW1204, cruisellama and WAAAYTOOO 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted November 23, 2021 Report Share Posted November 23, 2021 WAAAYTOOO, Ogilthorpe and Big Tule 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Tule Posted November 23, 2021 Report Share Posted November 23, 2021 cruisellama, LovetoCruise87, Ogilthorpe and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Tule Posted November 23, 2021 Report Share Posted November 23, 2021 WAAAYTOOO, rjac, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dejavu21 Posted November 24, 2021 Report Share Posted November 24, 2021 What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAMN!!!! LovetoCruise87, cruisellama, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted November 25, 2021 Report Share Posted November 25, 2021 WAAAYTOOO, LovetoCruise87, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted December 18, 2021 Report Share Posted December 18, 2021 Lifted from another site. SPS, LovetoCruise87, WAAAYTOOO and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPS Posted December 21, 2021 Report Share Posted December 21, 2021 WAAAYTOOO and cruisellama 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted January 22, 2022 Report Share Posted January 22, 2022 This one is for all of the schoolteachers on board here, enjoy! A group of 4 year-olds were trying to get used to attending school, and the biggest hurdle that they found themselves facing came when their teacher told them that no baby talk would be allowed in her class room. “You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she was constantly telling them. One day, she asked one student, “Ben, what did you do over the weekend?” I went to visit my Nana,” he responded. “No, you went to visit your grandmother. Use big people words,” the teacher told him. She then turned to another student named Kevin and asked what he did with his weekend. “I took a ride on a choo-choo,” Kevin replied. “No, you took a ride on a train. Use big people words,” the teacher admonished him. Finally, she turned to a student named Tom and asked what he had done over the weekend. “I read a book,” the four year-old responded. “That’s wonderful,” the teacher said. “What book did you read?” Tom thought about her question for a second, then he puffed out his chest with great pride and said, “Winnie The Shit.” Far... Top Comment Ogilthorpe, RWDW1204, cruisellama and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted January 29, 2022 Report Share Posted January 29, 2022 Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO, cdixon22 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RCARD Posted January 30, 2022 Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 So, a weasel walks into a bar ….. The bartender looks up and says “Wow!! In all my years tending bar, I’ve never had a weasel stop by. What can I get you?” “POP”, goes the weasel. RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 Mr. Miyagi didn't really teach karate. But he had a great Sensei humor. Ogilthorpe, RWDW1204, rjac and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovetoCruise87 Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea and the cruise passengers manage to escape on life boats. A woman asks the Captain “How far is the closest land?” “3 miles”, he answers. “That’s not too bad, in which direction?, she asks. The Captain replied “Down” RWDW1204 and Ogilthorpe 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovetoCruise87 Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 RWDW1204 and Ogilthorpe 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovetoCruise87 Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 WAAAYTOOO, cruisellama, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisellama Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 WAAAYTOOO, LovetoCruise87, RWDW1204 and 3 others 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bean79 Posted February 3, 2022 Report Share Posted February 3, 2022 You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish! Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO, LovetoCruise87 and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bean79 Posted February 3, 2022 Report Share Posted February 3, 2022 You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose! LovetoCruise87, RWDW1204, Ogilthorpe and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RWDW1204 Posted February 3, 2022 Report Share Posted February 3, 2022 1 hour ago, Bean79 said: You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish! Classic REO Speedwagon. WAAAYTOOO, LovetoCruise87, JohnK6404 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RCARD Posted February 3, 2022 Report Share Posted February 3, 2022 DESPITE THE HIGHER COST OF LIVING IT STILL REMAINS POPULAR LovetoCruise87, cdixon22, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 JohnK6404, RWDW1204, LovetoCruise87 and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? ... WAAAYTOOO and LovetoCruise87 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke. cruisellama, RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 How do mathematicians scold their children? "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..." WAAAYTOOO, cruisellama, LovetoCruise87 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 A man stumbled home at 3:00 a.m. His wife scolded him "you said you'd be home by 11:45." He calmly replied "No. I said I'd be home by a quarter of twelve." cdixon22, WAAAYTOOO, cruisellama and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was "Bach, Bach, Bach." LovetoCruise87, cdixon22, Ogilthorpe and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pheenix99 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Son: Dad, what's a forklift? Dad: Food cdixon22, RWDW1204, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 RWDW1204, LovetoCruise87, WAAAYTOOO and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pheenix99 Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 WAAAYTOOO, LovetoCruise87, rjac and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted February 15, 2022 Report Share Posted February 15, 2022 Ogilthorpe, LovetoCruise87, WAAAYTOOO and 2 others 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovetoCruise87 Posted February 17, 2022 Report Share Posted February 17, 2022 Why did the phone have to wear glasses? Because it lost its contacts cruisellama, Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butch R Posted February 17, 2022 Report Share Posted February 17, 2022 SHAMELESS plug of my Dad Jokes account on Tik Tok! RWDW1204, rjac, cdixon22 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovetoCruise87 Posted February 21, 2022 Report Share Posted February 21, 2022 Two cruise passengers are lounging on sun beds, reading books. One notices that the other is reading a Che Guervara book. The other passenger turns to him and asks “Have you read Marx?” “Yes”, her replies. “I think it’s from sitting on these deck chairs so long.” Ogilthorpe, RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovetoCruise87 Posted February 21, 2022 Report Share Posted February 21, 2022 Two bankers were the only survivors when their cruise ship sank. They were both clinging to a single life preserver. One banker, knowing that his colleague couldn’t swim, says, “I think I can make it to shore to get help. Can you float alone?” The other banker replies, “How can you talk business at a time like this?” Ogilthorpe, rjac, coneyraven and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted February 21, 2022 Report Share Posted February 21, 2022 A Preist, a Minister and a Rabbi were having a discussion about the beginning of life. The Priest says, the beginning of life happens at conception. The Minister says, sorry, but I don't agree with you and says the beginning of life is at birth. The Rabbi says, you are both wrong. It says so in the Holy Scriptures that the beginning of life is when the dog dies, and the kids move away from home. RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO, LovetoCruise87 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen. Jim Gaffigan WAAAYTOOO, Ogilthorpe and rjac 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted March 17, 2022 Report Share Posted March 17, 2022 Happy St. Patrick's Day! Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO and RWDW1204 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 ckruetze, coneyraven, WAAAYTOOO and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WAAAYTOOO Posted March 24, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 It took me about a minute to figure that one out ! I finally got the "ewe". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 6 minutes ago, WAAAYTOOO said: It took me about a minute to figure that one out ! I finally got the "ewe". The "Depp" briefly stumped me. WAAAYTOOO and cruisellama 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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