twangster 29,851 Posted April 2 Report Share Posted April 2 Did you hear the story of the cow superhero? It was legend-dairy. Ogilthorpe, cruisellama and RWDW1204 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cruisellama 994 Posted April 6 Report Share Posted April 6 Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ampurp85 1,232 Posted April 6 Report Share Posted April 6 What do you call a mythical creature that always wants to be in the spotlight? The centaur of attention What is the quietest sport? Bowling...you can hear a pin drop Why do opera singers make good sailors? They can handle high C's JLMoran, twangster, cruisellama and 1 other 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 6 Report Share Posted April 6 A pun has not completely matured until it is full groan. Ogilthorpe and cruisellama 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 6 Report Share Posted April 6 There’s a shoplifting gang going through town systemically stealing clothes in size order. The police said they are still at large. Ampurp85, cruisellama, RWDW1204 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 7 Report Share Posted April 7 Why are elevator jokes the best? They work on so many levels. Ogilthorpe and cruisellama 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cruisellama 994 Posted April 7 Report Share Posted April 7 Why did Humpty Dumpty love autumn? - Because he had a great fall! twangster and Ogilthorpe 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SPS 718 Posted April 7 Report Share Posted April 7 Little known fact: Koi fish travel in groups of four for safety. If a predator attacks, A, B, & C Koi can escape because the predator always goes after the D Koi. twangster, RWDW1204, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 7 Report Share Posted April 7 If you have a bladder infection... urine trouble. cruisellama, RWDW1204 and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Big Tule 410 Posted April 8 Report Share Posted April 8 Ogilthorpe, cruisellama, twangster and 2 others 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 8 Report Share Posted April 8 Come to think of it the shovel was a groundbreaking invention. Ogilthorpe, cruisellama, RWDW1204 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cruisellama 994 Posted April 8 Report Share Posted April 8 A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!" The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can. The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast." The sailor replies, "Well, you'd drink that fast too, if you had what I have." The bartender says, "Oh? What do you have?" "Fifty cents!" Big Tule, RWDW1204, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 8 Report Share Posted April 8 Can February March? No but April May. Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 8 Report Share Posted April 8 i gave away all my dead batteries... free of charge. Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JLMoran 7,305 Posted April 8 Report Share Posted April 8 Putting on my hazmat suit. This thread is turning into a pun fallout zone. cruisellama and emmef 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 8 Report Share Posted April 8 14 minutes ago, JLMoran said: Putting on my hazmat suit. This thread is turning into a pun fallout zone. Do we need a Corny Pun thread? BTW... A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame. cruisellama, RWDW1204 and Ogilthorpe 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
teddy 864 Posted April 8 Report Share Posted April 8 This thread has been great, especially after a long day of dealing with the public. Thanks to all who contribute. Big Tule, emmef, cruisellama and 4 others 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 8 Report Share Posted April 8 Today a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester. coneyraven, cruisellama and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cruisellama 994 Posted April 8 Report Share Posted April 8 9 hours ago, cruisellama said: A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!" The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can. The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast." The sailor replies, "Well, you'd drink that fast too, if you had what I have." The bartender says, "Oh? What do you have?" "Fifty cents!" He should have had a premium beverage package. Ogilthorpe and coneyraven 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 9 Report Share Posted April 9 I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that seafood because now I feel a little eel. Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 9 Report Share Posted April 9 A caller just tried to sell me a coffin. I told them that’s the last thing I’ll need. Ogilthorpe, PRebecca and Big Tule 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rjac 2,790 Posted April 10 Report Share Posted April 10 What's the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office? If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day. RWDW1204, Ogilthorpe, JLMoran and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 10 Report Share Posted April 10 Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if they had four doors they would be a chicken sedan. Ogilthorpe and RWDW1204 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rjac 2,790 Posted April 10 Report Share Posted April 10 6 minutes ago, twangster said: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if they had four doors they would be a chicken sedan. Yeah......we definitely need a groan emoji.......... Ogilthorpe, twangster, RWDW1204 and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,851 Posted April 10 Report Share Posted April 10 Patience is what you have when there are witnesses. Ogilthorpe, PRebecca, cruisellama and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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