lost little boy Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 I wasn't sure how to word the title without it sounding like bait or trying to be controversial, so I will elaborate below. I am in my mid-20s, autistic, and transgender. While I am more accustomed to dealing with the world around be as an autistic adult with minimal support needs (more so concerned about loud noises and how "picky" my food tastes can be, but not a real concern), I am mostly asking how I will be treated as a transgender man who is very early into my physical transition. There is a stereotypical kind of person who enjoys cruising, but I truly love relaxing, laid-back experiences, hot tubs, fine dining, classic rock, and spas. Cruising sounds like a perfect vacation for me and I am very excited to embark on my first one! (I tend to get along best with "older" people and am the closest with coworkers my parents age as we usually have more in common lol!) However, I know I visibly appear very gender nonconforming and I am no stranger to people being rude, uncomfortable, or straight-up hateful for my appearance or "unique" name (which was actually picked out by my father and wasn't me trying to have a ~different~ name, but I love that it's uncommon anyway). In my swimsuit I appear much more like a 13 year old boy than the 24 year old man I actually am, and in more formal wear it's about the same. I am on hormones and my voice is deeper, but I am still usually referred to as a girl by strangers. While I don't think I am going to be discriminated against or anything of that sort by the staff or yelled at by other cruisers, I do worry about how I will be treated in general. Will people make comments to me if I use the men's restroom? Will I get weird looks while swimming? If my party is seated with other cruisers at MDR will they judge me and make my dining experience uncomfortable? Obviously I am aware no one can answer these questions for me, but I was wondering if there were any other trans, queer, or allied people who have noticed anything while cruising royal? Is it a generally accepting, chill experience? I just want to be respected and viewed the same as other guests, but unfortunately this is something I worry about with any new environment. Note: this is NOT a post to discuss LGBT+ opinions, topics, identities, politics, or anything of that nature! I am only making this post because in my two years of researching cruising since I booked mine, I haven't seen anyone discuss anything like this. I am not looking to "invade" any spaces or make anything about "being trans/gay". I am only asking from a comfort and safety standpoint. No discourse, PLEASE. I would not be asking this or making this post if I didn't have reason to be. Please be respectful and kind. Thank you KristiZ, PPPJJ-GCVAB, aubtfan and 1 other 1 3 Quote
CanHardlyWait Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 I just want to see people having a good time, while being respectful of all other cruiser's. How you look, dress, etc, is not of any importance to me. How you treat fellow passengers and respect the rules of our shared experience is all that matters to me. It's your life, you get to live it, nobody else. I cruise on Royal Caribbean and that's how this passenger thinks. Gilley, 14Terry, PPPJJ-GCVAB and 8 others 5 6 Quote
Jamesszy94 Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 Most people cruise to get away from reality. Some people will probably stare and talk and make snide comments, but most of them won't care. There are LGBT+ meetings onboard where other LGBT+ cruisers can meet each other. Cruising is just like any other holiday experience you'll probably take. It's no different to judgemental people back on land, you'll find judgemental people everywhere. aubtfan, michaelp1446, PPPJJ-GCVAB and 1 other 1 3 Quote
Momof4crazytocruise Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 Honestly, no one can be certain - but I know from me and mine we wouldn't think twice about it. People are people are people. Be kind, be polite, be respectful of the crew, and I don't care, male/female, purple/green - if you're there to have fun, you're all right with me. As far as weird looks or judgement - none of that you can control, but I will say most people I have met on cruisers are very accepting, or are more worried about the people in their own party than to even notice anything like you describe. Cruising is what you make of it - if you're bored or unhappy, that's of your own doing. Go into it deciding you will have a great time, and you will have a great time. Jamesszy94, michaelp1446, lost little boy and 1 other 2 2 Quote
Jamesszy94 Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 If you feel uncomfortable using the mens restroom, you can use the family restrooms - it's not ideal but if you're that worried, it's an option, most of the time, the public restrooms aren't that full, so not many people will be in there at any given time. lost little boy 1 Quote
lost little boy Posted March 21 Author Report Posted March 21 11 minutes ago, Jamesszy94 said: If you feel uncomfortable using the mens restroom, you can use the family restrooms - it's not ideal but if you're that worried, it's an option, most of the time, the public restrooms aren't that full, so not many people will be in there at any given time. thats a great point! idk why i didn't think of that! thank you 14 minutes ago, Jamesszy94 said: Most people cruise to get away from reality. Some people will probably stare and talk and make snide comments, but most of them won't care. There are LGBT+ meetings onboard where other LGBT+ cruisers can meet each other. Cruising is just like any other holiday experience you'll probably take. It's no different to judgemental people back on land, you'll find judgemental people everywhere. are there LGBT+ meetings onboard on every ship? i had no idea about this! where can I find information about this? Quote
Smokey79 Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 Speaking of my time on cruise ships, I’ve never seen anyone go out of their way to be rude to someone or really even be curt. It’s a rarity in today’s world imo. Most people are concerned with themselves rather than the world around them because they want an escape from reality for a few days. I don’t think I even ran into another person in the public restroom unless I on the pool deck or near WJ on my last sailing. I think you’ll have a good time. lost little boy 1 Quote
Ryan79 Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 Almost everyone on board is going to be more concerned with their own vacation, than to worry about you. Of course there is always a chance you will run into someone who has had too much to drink and cannot keep their thoughts to themselves. That will be the situation anywhere. As long as you aren’t being “look at me! Look at me!” obnoxious, 99.99% of the people on board will barely even notice your existence other than you being an obstacle in the buffet line! LOL That goes for EVERYONE. Don’t overthink it and just enjoy your trip. You be you!!!! aubtfan, lost little boy and Baked Alaska 2 1 Quote
ChessE4 Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 You'll be fine, but any person should rehearse/plan how to deal with problem situations, whether difficult people, lost items, or Royal service mistakes. Stuff happens. lost little boy 1 Quote
TXcruzer Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 1 hour ago, Jamesszy94 said: If you feel uncomfortable using the mens restroom, you can use the family restrooms - it's not ideal but if you're that worried, it's an option, most of the time, the public restrooms aren't that full, so not many people will be in there at any given time. I have never seen a "family restroom"on any Royal ship. lost little boy 1 Quote
Jamesszy94 Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 38 minutes ago, TXcruzer said: I have never seen a "family restroom"on any Royal ship. I don't know what it's called but it's the one for babies where there's a change table inside. lost little boy and Geezer Of The Seas 2 Quote
Riley Posted March 21 Report Posted March 21 Echoing what others have said - most folks will think nothing of it. There is a wide variety of people on cruise ships and I doubt most of your fellow passengers will notice. Of those who notice, most will be polite. Crew won't care (tip your bar tender and they will love you no matter how you appear!) and everyone from the Captain on down to the guy scraping and painting the rail is there to make sure you enjoy yourself. There are meet-ups for LGBT+ travelers, solo travelers, "Friends of Bill W." and all sorts of others you may tap into. Be sure to explore the ship itself for the areas that meet your needs (I enjoy the Schooner Bar at the very far back of the ship for a place to settle in with a book and a drink when I want peace and quiet, for example) and be sure to talk with your wait staff for any food concerns... your head waiter and the chef will do their best to meet any and all dietary concerns including if you want to stick to a limited "safe" menu (I have to strictly limit my sodium and my go-to dinner is always a strip steak or chicken breast with baked potato and whatever steamed veggies they have). Ask and they will try. Most of all, have FUN and welcome to cruising! lost little boy 1 Quote
KristiZ Posted March 22 Report Posted March 22 Looks like we’ll be cruising together on that Odyssey Trans Atlantic! Feel free to reach out with a DM if you have questions or concerns. Mr Z and I would be happy to lend an ear Sharla, ScottD and lost little boy 1 2 Quote
lost little boy Posted March 22 Author Report Posted March 22 7 minutes ago, KristiZ said: Looks like we’ll be cruising together on that Odyssey Trans Atlantic! Feel free to reach out with a DM if you have questions or concerns. Mr Z and I would be happy to lend an ear thank you! KristiZ 1 Quote
ScottD Posted March 22 Report Posted March 22 11 hours ago, lost little boy said: thats a great point! idk why i didn't think of that! thank you are there LGBT+ meetings onboard on every ship? i had no idea about this! where can I find information about this? Yes, there are a few meetups just about every cruise, you will see them listed right on the cruise compass\daily activities lists. I think you'll have a great time. Here is a picture of the area on a cruise compass where you'll find the meet ups listed... down toward the bottom of the "Things to do" column.... PPPJJ-GCVAB and lost little boy 1 1 Quote
Ampurp85 Posted March 22 Report Posted March 22 Personally, I would say if you have specific dietary needs due to your autism, that will be most of your worry. Not what you look like. All types of people cruise. No one should be rude outwardly to you and I think if you allow yourself, you will have a wonderful time. Neesa and lost little boy 1 1 Quote
Sharla Posted March 22 Report Posted March 22 Welcome to cruising! I am sure you will find many people like you on the ships. Like others have said you are welcome to go to the LGBT+ meets (and/or singles meets if you want to meet people). From a booking perspective- you need to make sure that you are booked under the name/gender that is on your legal identification. If you have already changed your name and gender on passport/ID then no need to worry, but just make sure it matches the documents, even if that means you look different from your photos. If you need to bring refrigerated medication then you can fill out a form to get a medical fridge in your room. Have a great cruise! KristiZ, lost little boy and Villageidiot 1 2 Quote
Villageidiot Posted March 22 Report Posted March 22 I wouldn't worry about it, most people on the cruise will be more concerned with getting a seat by the pool or a good seat for the show. lost little boy 1 Quote
lost little boy Posted March 23 Author Report Posted March 23 Thank you so SO much to all the quick and incredibly kind responses to my post! Everyone is so warm and welcoming I greatly appreciate everyone's words, advice, and tips! I'm excited now more than ever for my first cruise thanks to this wonderful community! Ampurp85, KristiZ, ScottD and 5 others 3 5 Quote
HeWhoWaits Posted March 25 Report Posted March 25 You're more likely to get sideways glances or rude comments about not dressing "well enough" for the MDR on "formal" night than for your gender identity or health challenge. Don't worry about the few who may judge and just enjoy your vacation. Villageidiot and lost little boy 1 1 Quote
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