FireFishII Posted November 9, 2022 Report Share Posted November 9, 2022 CruisinMikeD, WAAAYTOOO and FJ28 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted November 14, 2022 Report Share Posted November 14, 2022 WAAAYTOOO, FireFishII, FManke and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FManke Posted November 16, 2022 Report Share Posted November 16, 2022 A grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender tells him, "I'm going to make you a drink named after you," to which the grasshopper replies. "You have a drink named Steve?" FireFishII and WAAAYTOOO 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted November 17, 2022 Report Share Posted November 17, 2022 PARENT'S GLOSSARY OF KID'S KITCHEN TERMS APPETIZING: Anything advertised on TV. BOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck" before a food is even tasted. CASSEROLE: Combination of favorite foods that go uneaten because they are mixed together. CHAIR: Spot left vacant by mid-meal bathroom visit. COOKIE (LAST ONE): Item that must be eaten in front of a sibling. CRUST: Part of a sandwich saved for the starving children of China, India, Africa, or Europe (check one). DESSERTS: The reason for eating a meal. EVAPORATE: Magic trick performed by children when it comes time to clear the table or wash dishes. FAT: Microscopic substance detected visually by children on pieces of meat they do not wish to eat. FLOOR: Place for all food not found on lap or chair. FORK: Eating utensil made obsolete by discovery of fingers. FRIED FOODS: Gourmet cooking FROZEN: Condition of children's jaws when Spinach is served. FRUIT: A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert. GERMS: The only thing kids will share freely. KITCHEN: The only room not used when eating crumbly snacks. LEFTOVERS: Commonly described as 'gross'. LIVER: A food that affects genes, creating a hereditary dislike. LOLLIPOP: A snack provided by people who don't have to pay dental bills. MACARONI: Material for a collage. MEASURING CUP: A kitchen utensil that is stored in the sandbox. METRIC: A system of measurement that will be accepted only after forty years wandering in the desert. NAPKIN: Any warm cloth object, such as shirt or pants. NATURAL FOOD: Food eaten with unwashed hands. NUTRITION: Secret war waged by parents using direct commands, camouflage, and constant guard duty. PLATE: A breakable Frisbee. REFRIGERATOR: A very expensive and inefficient room air conditioner when not being used as an art gallery. SALIVA: A medium for blowing bubbles. SODA POP: Shake 'N Spray. TABLE: A place for storing gum. TABLE LEG: Percussion instrument THIRSTY: How your child feels after you've said your final "good night." VEGETABLE: A basic food known to satisfy kid's hunger -- but only by sight. WATER: The cola of underdeveloped countries. rjac, WAAAYTOOO, FireFishII and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted November 25, 2022 Report Share Posted November 25, 2022 Here's one for today. Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chickens day off! WAAAYTOOO and FireFishII 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Tule Posted November 26, 2022 Report Share Posted November 26, 2022 WAAAYTOOO 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted November 28, 2022 Report Share Posted November 28, 2022 By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87% of what little joy you still have left in your life. FireFishII and WAAAYTOOO 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted November 28, 2022 Report Share Posted November 28, 2022 Walmart had to remove 50,000 milk cartons from their stores. The labels had to be changed from "open here" to "open at home." FireFishII and WAAAYTOOO 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted November 28, 2022 Report Share Posted November 28, 2022 FireFishII and WAAAYTOOO 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted December 5, 2022 Report Share Posted December 5, 2022 I once dated a girl who had a twin. Friends asked me how I could tell them apart. Easy - Alison painted her nails red. Bob had a beard. RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO, Big Tule and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted December 6, 2022 Report Share Posted December 6, 2022 Big Tule, SPS, WAAAYTOOO and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted December 8, 2022 Report Share Posted December 8, 2022 RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO, FireFishII and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WAAAYTOOO Posted December 9, 2022 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2022 RWDW1204, AlmondFarmer, HeWhoWaits and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireFishII Posted December 17, 2022 Report Share Posted December 17, 2022 Since NH is getting our first measurable snow fall (more like slush fall), here is a cartoon for your enjoyment. RWDW1204, WAAAYTOOO and rjac 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted December 19, 2022 Report Share Posted December 19, 2022 WAAAYTOOO 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted December 20, 2022 Report Share Posted December 20, 2022 WAAAYTOOO, FireFishII and EvergreenCruzers 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted December 25, 2022 Report Share Posted December 25, 2022 I just found out there was a fourth Wiseman, but he was turned away because he brought fruit cake. WAAAYTOOO and FireFishII 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted December 28, 2022 Report Share Posted December 28, 2022 FireFishII, EvergreenCruzers and WAAAYTOOO 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted January 8 Report Share Posted January 8 This drunk fellow staggers into a bar and tells the bartender "Bartender, I'm buying a drink for everyone in this establishment, I'll have a beer, pour yourself a drink and put it on my tab!" Everyone gives him a round of applause. After a while, the drunk fellow finishes his beer and starts heading for the door. The bartender yells at him "Hey buddy, where the hell do you think you're going, you have a pretty hefty tab to pay" and the drunk replies," I'm very sorry but I can't pay you, I don't have any money" and heads out the door. A few nights later the same drunk staggers into the same bar and tells the bartender, "I'm buying a drink for everyone here tonight, a beer for myself, our yourself one and put it on my tab". The bartender remembers this drunk and thinks, "hmm, maybe he got paid today and he has money". So, he complies with the drunk's request, everyone applauds the fellow he downs his beer and heads for the door. The bartender, again, yells at him "and where do you think you're going? You have a large tab from tonight as well as the other night to pay". The drunk tells him, again, "I am very sorry, but I have no money, I can't pay you". With that the bartender grabs him by the shoulder, beats the hell out of him and throws him out. Another couple of days go by and the same drunk staggers into the same bar and tells the same bartender "I'm buying a round for the house, I'll have a beer and put it on my tab". The bartender asks him "What, you're not buying me a drink tonight"? And the drunk replies "Hell no! You get violent when you drink". WAAAYTOOO and FireFishII 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 FJ28, FireFishII, WAAAYTOOO and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 WAAAYTOOO, DoomSlayer, FireFishII and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoomSlayer Posted January 16 Report Share Posted January 16 So, a nervous passenger just asked the Captain "Do cruise ships like this sink often?" The Captain got a smirk on his face and simply replied "No, just once." FireFishII, RCIfan1912, rjac and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireFishII Posted January 16 Report Share Posted January 16 A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea and the cruise passengers manage to escape on life boats. A woman asks the Captain “How far is the closest land?” “3 miles”, he answers. “That’s not too bad, in which direction?, she asks. The Captain replied “Down” WAAAYTOOO, DoomSlayer, rjac and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoomSlayer Posted January 17 Report Share Posted January 17 Best Joke of the Day -- Tom Brady Lost to my Cowboys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Censored Posted January 17 Report Share Posted January 17 What vegetable isn't allowed on cruise ships? Leeks! WAAAYTOOO, DoomSlayer and FireFishII 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted January 18 Report Share Posted January 18 WAAAYTOOO 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Censored Posted January 19 Report Share Posted January 19 The showers in the cruise cabins are so small,I bring a lazy susan and just soap the walls and spin around a few times! WAAAYTOOO, FireFishII and DoomSlayer 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted January 20 Report Share Posted January 20 Ohhh My! EvergreenCruzers and WAAAYTOOO 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted January 27 Report Share Posted January 27 FireFishII, EvergreenCruzers and WAAAYTOOO 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 That' a lot of people doing yoga! WAAAYTOOO, DoomSlayer and FireFishII 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireFishII Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 In honor of being -11 degrees and Mt Washington breaking the record for the coolest wind chill (-106 degrees). . . . RCIfan1912, WAAAYTOOO and rjac 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 WAAAYTOOO and FireFishII 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 WAAAYTOOO and FireFishII 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted February 17 Report Share Posted February 17 WAAAYTOOO 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireFishII Posted February 18 Report Share Posted February 18 EvergreenCruzers, WAAAYTOOO and rjac 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted March 9 Report Share Posted March 9 My next door neighbor is an electrical engineer, and he has a new project he is working on. He is coming up with a thought controlled air freshener. It makes scents when you think about it. FireFishII, Ogilthorpe and WAAAYTOOO 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 FireFishII and WAAAYTOOO 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWaits Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 FireFishII and WAAAYTOOO 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WAAAYTOOO Posted March 14 Author Report Share Posted March 14 32 minutes ago, HeWhoWaits said: Ordinal numerals, anyone ? EvergreenCruzers 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjac Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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