twangster 29,813 Posted April 11 Report Share Posted April 11 Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover? You should never press your luck. RWDW1204 and Ogilthorpe 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 I can't take my dog around the lake anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for having a pure bread dog. Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gtgtgt 22 Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 Hey, @twangster ==> we gotta get you on a ship asap !! !! You've apparently got too much time on your hands, finding and sharing all these corny jokes. If you're writing them from scratch, then you've got another career to pursue . I do enjoy the jokes. Thanks. Ogilthorpe and HeWhoWaits 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 10 minutes ago, gtgtgt said: Hey, @twangster ==> we gotta get you on a ship asap !! !! You've apparently got too much time on your hands, finding and sharing all these corny jokes. If you're writing them from scratch, then you've got another career to pursue . I do enjoy the jokes. Thanks. People write jokes? Who knew? Ogilthorpe, teddy and cruisellama 2 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? The food is out of this world but there is no atmosphere. RWDW1204, cruisellama and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cruisellama 991 Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 A magician is working on a Cruise Ship... With him, he has a parrot to spice up his routine. Sadly, the parrot has the habit of ruining his show. Whenever the magician makes something disappear, the parrot announces: "Saw it! You palmed it and hid it up your sleeve!" When he does a card trick, the parrot says: "Saw it! Every card in that decks the same!" He does this every routine, much to the magicians dismay. After a week of this, the cruise ship is suffering shipwreck. In the ensuing chaos, the magician manages to safe his belongings and the parrot, but ends up alone with his bird in a lifeboat. For the first time, the parrot is completely silent. Two days later, the bird says: "Alright, I give up. Wheres the ship?" RWDW1204, Ogilthorpe, twangster and 1 other 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 13 Report Share Posted April 13 Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! Ogilthorpe, PPPJJ-GCVAB and RWDW1204 2 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 13 Report Share Posted April 13 Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint! coneyraven and Ogilthorpe 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
coneyraven 2,184 Posted April 14 Report Share Posted April 14 RWDW1204, JLMoran, Ogilthorpe and 2 others 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 14 Report Share Posted April 14 Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well! Ogilthorpe and coneyraven 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
coneyraven 2,184 Posted April 14 Report Share Posted April 14 The New Maryland State Flag. My world is now complete. Ogilthorpe, JLMoran and twangster 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
coneyraven 2,184 Posted April 14 Report Share Posted April 14 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
coneyraven 2,184 Posted April 14 Report Share Posted April 14 Ogilthorpe, JLMoran and twangster 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 14 Report Share Posted April 14 What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A slipper! Ogilthorpe and PPPJJ-GCVAB 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 15 Report Share Posted April 15 What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable. Big Tule, Ogilthorpe, RWDW1204 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 15 Report Share Posted April 15 Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it! Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 15 Report Share Posted April 15 I used to run a dating service for chickens but I was struggling to make hens meet. Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FManke 2,698 Posted April 15 Report Share Posted April 15 Did you hear about the cocky potato? He was tuber confident. twangster, RWDW1204 and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AlmondFarmer 361 Posted April 15 Report Share Posted April 15 1 hour ago, twangster said: I used to run a dating service for chickens but I was struggling to make hens meet. I tried the same thing but failed for a different reason. I was making too many hens meat. Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 16 Report Share Posted April 16 Why do stadiums get hot after a game? Because all the fans leave. PPPJJ-GCVAB and Ogilthorpe 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HeWhoWaits 1,350 Posted April 16 Report Share Posted April 16 What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis. twangster, PPPJJ-GCVAB, RWDW1204 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HeWhoWaits 1,350 Posted April 16 Report Share Posted April 16 What does a runner drink when he's in last place? Ketchup. Ogilthorpe and PPPJJ-GCVAB 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HeWhoWaits 1,350 Posted April 16 Report Share Posted April 16 It only takes me five minutes to walk to the pub but it takes me half an hour to get home. The difference is staggering. AlmondFarmer, RWDW1204, Big Tule and 2 others 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 16 Report Share Posted April 16 My dog used to chase people on a scooter. It got so bad we had to take his scooter away. Ogilthorpe 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twangster 29,813 Posted April 17 Report Share Posted April 17 Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines. PPPJJ-GCVAB, Big Tule and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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