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Why must you knock before opening the refrigerator door ?   Because you wouldn’t want to catch the salad, dressing.   ba-dump-bump

Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs through your genes lol   

What do you call an arrogant criminal walking down stairs?  A condescending con descending! 

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10 minutes ago, gtgtgt said:

Hey, @twangster ==> we gotta get you on a ship asap !! 😀 !! You've apparently got too much time on your hands, finding and sharing all these corny jokes.  If you're writing them from scratch, then you've got another career to pursue 😉.

I do enjoy the jokes.  Thanks.

People write jokes?  Who knew? 🤷‍♂️

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A magician is working on a Cruise Ship...

With him, he has a parrot to spice up his routine. Sadly, the parrot has the habit of ruining his show.

Whenever the magician makes something disappear, the parrot announces: "Saw it! You palmed it and hid it up your sleeve!" 

When he does a card trick, the parrot says: "Saw it! Every card in that decks the same!" 

He does this every routine, much to the magicians dismay. 

After a week of this, the cruise ship is suffering shipwreck. In the ensuing chaos, the magician manages to safe his belongings and the parrot, but ends up alone with his bird in a lifeboat. For the first time, the parrot is completely silent. 

Two days later, the bird says: "Alright, I give up. Wheres the ship?"

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