Jolly Ogre

Nooooo!!!!!!
Why why oh why?? 
Why get rid of Grease and they keep Cats on Oasis...!!??

I heard they're replacing grease with just wd-40

Nooooo!!!!!!
Why why oh why?? 
Why get rid of Grease and they keep Cats on Oasis...!!??

Nooooo!!!!!!
Why why oh why?? 
Why get rid of Grease and they keep Cats on Oasis...!!??

Nooooo!!!!!!
Why why oh why?? 
Why get rid of Grease and they keep Cats on Oasis...!!??

Nooooo!!!!!!
Why why oh why?? 
Why get rid of Grease and they keep Cats on Oasis...!!??

Nooooo!!!!!!
Why why oh why?? 
Why get rid of Grease and they keep Cats on Oasis...!!??

Same prices for us on 4 night Utopia in Feb 2026. We'll be staying on the ship.

I came here for THIS comment!

Because Royal wants to torture us! LOL! 😂

Grease was the word, was the word that you heard
It had a groove, it had a meaning
Grease was the time, was the place, was the motion
Grease was the way we were  feeling

Nooooo!!!!!!
Why why oh why?? 
Why get rid of Grease and they keep Cats on Oasis...!!??

Nooooo!!!!!!
Why why oh why?? 
Why get rid of Grease and they keep Cats on Oasis...!!??

Do you want to risk being denied boarding, banned for life or possible jail time?
If so go right ahead and try it.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

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Well this is $91.28 per guest on my upcoming Oct Utopia cruise and I will not be choosing this excursion.
I have better places to visit in Nassau that I am very happy to frequent that is just a block from the port. Oh and it is a local place and not a big chain or corporate owned business. 
Oh and Kalik is 2 for $6 and margaritas are $10 for sm $14 for lrg.

The Bearded Clam.

Well this is $91.28 per guest on my upcoming Oct Utopia cruise and I will not be choosing this excursion.
I have better places to visit in Nassau that I am very happy to frequent that is just a block from the port. Oh and it is a local place and not a big chain or corporate owned business. 
Oh and Kalik is 2 for $6 and margaritas are $10 for sm $14 for lrg.

Well this is $91.28 per guest on my upcoming Oct Utopia cruise and I will not be choosing this excursion.
I have better places to visit in Nassau that I am very happy to frequent that is just a block from the port. Oh and it is a local place and not a big chain or corporate owned business. 
Oh and Kalik is 2 for $6 and margaritas are $10 for sm $14 for lrg.

Not one to complain much, but this one was a doozy.
We booked the named excursion through Royal and from the time we stepped off Symphony, I knew it was going to be bad.  We arrived on the pier and our "meeting" spot was complete chaos.  People from Blue Lagoon running around, lining people up, putting people in wrong lines -- you name it, it happened.
*Cue two hours of standing in the heat with no shade later*
Now that we've wasted two hours on Bahamian Queue Simulator 2025, we finally are finally (over)loaded on to the crappiest catamaran I have ever seen....You would've thought that the hefty law suit and them literally killing a lady from 2023 would have taught them, but nope.  I (an ex-coastie) made it a mission to count everyone on board.  They stuffed over 300 people on this vessel.  Yes, I spent the 20 minute ride over counting.  Max should've been 150-200 at most.
But wait, the fun doesn't stop there!  To relax, I decide to go to the death vessel catamaran's bar and try to purchase a Kalik beer to help ease my nerves (or at least be a tad bit tipsy when fighting for my life when we sink).  That'll be $15, sir.  So I nope right out and go sit next to my family with a scowl on my face.
We finally arrive to our "deluxe" and "exclusive" Blue Lagoon Island and (you guessed it), it was packed.  I am talking nuts to butts.  No chairs, no seats, no umbrellas, everything packed.  These people then have the gall to give us *one* drink voucher and *one* food voucher and tell us where to go.  I go to the bar with my new golden ticket like I'm Charlie heading to the chocolate factory, but way more disappointed.  The bartender looks at me and points at the two options I have.  Delicious ice cold water (tap water) OR powdered lemonade!  Spoiler alert, I drink the lemonade because I'm dehydrated at this point and guess what I have when I get home!  An immigrant from the Island named H. Pylori!  YAY!
I wish this was the end of this grand tour, but alas, it isn't.  The food we were served was akin to that of what I would receive on Riker's Island -- absolutely awful.  Think the saddest hamburger you've ever seen in your life, double it, give it to your enemy, and it's somehow worse.
By now I've already turned on my phone and paid the $10 to let Royal know exactly how I feel about their deluxe offering via email.  During this time, I again attempt to get a mixed drink in hopes of salvaging what little patience I have left of this godforsaken place.  I ask for a margarita on the rocks, no salt.  That'll be $25 please!  I loudly decline and ask how much a simple bottle of water will be.  You're in luck, it's only $10!
By now I *hope* I dehydrate so that they'll be forced to take me back to the beautiful ship with unlimited beverages.  
Finally, the straw that broke the figurative camel's back was when my 16 year old asked me to "follow him" with a grin on his face.  He's a down-to-earth kid, so I knew this was gonna be good.  He directs me to a lovely beach on the north side of the island that is a little more quiet and had 3 lifeguards.  He then proceeds to tell me that the lifeguards asked him to get out of the water because he went in over his knees (it was a calm day).  As we walk toward the beach and near where the lifeguards are sitting, the smell hits me.  That sweet, sweet smell of the Jazz Cabbage (also known as the Devil's Lettuce).  Cheech, Chong, and Snoop were sitting under the only umbrella on the beach, passing a joint at work like it was 4:20 in Denver.
Back to the ship, and the lovely hotel director has already called my room (see email above) and asked to meet me.  He apologized, thanked me for letting him know (I also let him know about the stoners), and immediately used his super duper bat phone to call the excursion desk to refund me. 
Too long, didn't read?:  Avoid anything Blue Lagoon like the plague.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

Does anyone remember when Royal even dared to ask the question if we would be ok with paying for pizza?
What happened with that? How did that go?....Right!! Exactamundo!!

Does anyone remember when Royal even dared to ask the question if we would be ok with paying for pizza?
What happened with that? How did that go?....Right!! Exactamundo!!

Does anyone remember when Royal even dared to ask the question if we would be ok with paying for pizza?
What happened with that? How did that go?....Right!! Exactamundo!!

Does anyone remember when Royal even dared to ask the question if we would be ok with paying for pizza?
What happened with that? How did that go?....Right!! Exactamundo!!

Does anyone remember when Royal even dared to ask the question if we would be ok with paying for pizza?
What happened with that? How did that go?....Right!! Exactamundo!!