HeWhoWaits

Question: What's a comedian's favorite way to eat eggs? Answer: Funny side up!

Apparently you've never been Rick-rolled.

My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit.

Took me about 10 seconds to solve.

We just finished a 17-night Panama Canal cruise on another line (Holland America). They still default to providing a paper copy of the schedule daily. This may be in part due to the older average clientele (instead of being among the oldest 15% of people onboard, we were among the youngest 15%) and/or the fact that their app is less useful than Royal's.

In addition to the Diamond Lounge machines, those who don't use all of their drink vouchers for alcohol can use some to get the froo-froo specialty coffees that are so inexplicably popular.

Hold on to those torches and pitchforks. Hear me out. As many issues as we've all encountered with the Royal website and app, be aware it could be MUCH worse. I'm currently traitorously sailing on Holland America. Pre-cruise, their website was difficult to navigate and often did not allow me to make purchases on items I had received a marketing email about. Pre-cruise their app was less useful for learning anything compared to Royal's app. Now that we are onboard, I have determined that the HAL Navigator app is almost complete garbage. The reason I say "almost complete" is that the app has a feature we'd all love to see on Royal - and it works. You are able to pre-order items from their New York Pizza (which is far superior to the best Sorrento's in Royal's fleet) and Dive In (which is the poolside burger bar). Your food is ready for pickup in 10-15 minutes with no waiting in line.

You and your partner should both wear whatever you like within legal limits. If what others thought about what is worn mattered, I would have to leave a shirt on at all times by the pool to not offend with my love handles and more.

If you don't know the "The boy who lived" is Harry Potter, you won't do well on the trivia quiz anyway.

Last January we used the expedited service which was listed as taking 7-8 weeks. We had our passports in less than three weeks. They have been using "staffing shortages" as the excuse for delays for over two years now. There's a simple solution - hire more people.

The excursion companies provide flotation devices and require you to wear them. No need to bring one along unless you are unusually large (as in 5X or bigger).

No OBC as the port fee for Grand Cayman turned out to be higher than the fee for Bonaire. We were not charged the higher port fee as we had already made final payment.

It's been four years since I last did the wine tasting. Based on that experience, three ounces of each wine is a pretty accurate description. Based on five ounces being a standard pour, the tasting is the equivalent of three glasses of wine, which would run you at least $36 (for lesser wines, IMO, than the tasting includes) at full price for individual pours.

The only show I bothered to attend on our Freedom cruise last year was the ice show. Enjoyed it very much.

In Seattle, we successfully completed the required muster drill on our phones using only mobile data during the ride to the terminal. It truly is very hit or miss.

The busier the bartender, the less likely the to need to sign.

Another good option for late night is to take an extra dessert or three (from MDR or picked up at Windjammer) back to your room. Other options that don't require refrigeration or reheating are also acceptable, but go for the extra desserts. You're on vacation.

Common courtesy, like common sense, hasn't been so common for about 20 years.

It's a bigger problem on sea days, but not exclusive to them. Bigger because there are more chair hogs AND more people who want to use chairs.

Just for perspective on pricing. Going on a 17 night Panama Canal trip on Holland America in just over two weeks. I paid $211.60 for the 17 nights. The current price offered is $251.99 - still a bargain compared to Royal.

That's what the app is for on the morning you board. Even if you're going to lock the phone away for the duration of the trip and never use the app onboard, getting that one activity out of the way in advance would be worth the effort to download the app, IMO.

If @Xaaand party were sitting in the hot tub watching the sunrise, there is a very good chance they were all facing away from the deck chairs and would not have seen the crew member placing notes. As for the crew member not seeing them, that can be explained by a singular focus on doing the job (without bothering to check if anyone was nearby).

How does the ability to get into your stateroom impact the muster drill? The information about where to go is on your set sail pass and they will scan that to verify you appeared at the muster station. It's no different than using your set sail pass to pay for drinks, to prove you bought a package, or to redeem your first Diamond voucher.

We're taking a trip on Holland America in April. I'll report back on how the internet goes for me on that 17-nighter.