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A different perspective


HeWhoWaits
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Posted by a former co-worker on a different platform:

Perspective on the virus:

1. Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half with a drinking problem
2. I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune, now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe
3. I need to practise social distancing with the refrigerator
4. I still haven't decided where to go for Easter - the living room or the bedroom
5. Every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they still fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
6. I don't think anyone expected when we changed the clocks, we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
7. This morning, I saw my neighour talking to her cat again. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. When I got back into the house, I told my dog and we both laughed.
8. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.
9. I'm so excited it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
10. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to "Puerto Backyarda" cos I'm getting real tired of "Los Livingroom"
11. Classified ad:
Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun
12. Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under....!!

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