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Your funniest cruise story

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4 hours ago, deep1 said:

I have always been "colorful" and not one to follow the beaten path. I have had a couple occasions  where staff had to ask me nicely to stop fishing off my balcony. This time I decided to go a slightly different direction. Brought my daughter to Coco Cay when she was about seven and came up with a "good way" to spice her trip up some. I brought her to the little shallow beach away from the popular snorkeling one to do some "special snorkeling". Being a fisherman and diver over the years I developed a collection of old galleon "pirate coins". brought one along tucked in my waist band. The water on that south beach was maybe knee deep, sand bottom and of course gin clear. We were maybe thirty yard from shore and I tossed the coin out in front of us without her seeing... I nudged her and kept her on course to "find" it... I remember her making noises through her snorkel when she "found" it.  
"Daddy its a pirate coin!" Wow was she excited! Mission accomplished  (or so I thought). We exited the water and she ran off showing the coin to every person she saw. Before I knew it,  the other areas emptied out and we were "joined" with a couple thousand "treasure hunters"... She's 27 this year and getting married. I had that coin set and unbeknownst to her I will make it available for her to wear when I walk her down the aisle... 😀

Great story...  Thanks for sharing 😄

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Cozumel:  We were on a Jeep Experience excursion. The tour leader was difficult to understand at times, his English was broken and heavily accented. We were at a lunch stop and I walked out into the surf near where our guide and some fellow excursioners were. They were talking and laughing and I suddenly realized that the guide was speaking better English than me. Turns out he was born in California, was a student at UCLA, and Spanish was actually his second language. This was his job during the summer. He told us he chose to work on Cozumel because while the "Mexican Riviera" was much closer to home it was also much more dangerous. Your local, native tour guide just might be something else.

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My wife and I sailed on Enchantment in October 2017 for our honeymoon. We flew from Providence to Fort Lauderdale the day before. At the airport, passing through security, I forgot my money clip in my back pocket and set the metal detector off. I had to be wanded and searched by TSA.

The next day, after arriving at the terminal in Miami, we had to go through metal detectors and I managed to set them off again, despite making sure anything metallic was off.

This continued for the entire voyage. Anytime getting back on board, I would always set off the metal detector. It was a recurring joke between my wife and I and even some of the security staff who recognized me. 

Finally our last port of call - Key West - we were coming back on the ship and again, I set the metal detector off. The guard wanded me and did not detect anything. He noticed my sneakers and asked me to take them off and pass through the metal detector. Surprise, it didn't go off. He wanded the toes of the sneakers and it set the wand off, then sent them through the X-ray, which revealed that my sneakers had steel tips in the toes.

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On 4/14/2019 at 8:39 PM, SpeedNoodles said:

On our Canada/NE cruise on the Jewel in 2004 we were on the younger end of the average age of the non-crew ship inhabitants.  We were selected to be on stage for the "Love and Marriage" game.  I ended up giving a fairly risque answer to one of the questions during the game. I don't recall if we won the game or not.  What I DO recall was the realization the next day that I had gained instant ship fame because they kept playing the recording of the game over and over and over on the TV in everyone's staterooms the rest of the week.  The entire rest of the cruise I kept getting winked at, side-eyed, slapped on the back,  and high-fived everywhere on the ship.  "Hey, you're the girl from the "Love and Marriage Show ....".  

(To reflect back on that cruise, and my earlier response to this post, at least they didn't have footage of my pathetic attempt at ping pong on the ship. As it is my husband won't ever let me forget that fiasco).

Old thread, but just stumbled across it and had to add a story and reply to @SpeedNoodles 😀

My husband & I had this exact thing happen to us in 1998 on our honeymoon cruise on Nordic Empress (now Empress OTS).  We got picked as the newlywed couple competing against two longer married couples, and had to say where the strangest place was we ever "did the deed".  I won't say what our answer was here, but it was pretty shocking, and we got recognized all over the ship for the rest of the cruise with congratulations.  We won the game, we'd just gotten married, and people were apparently impressed with our location answer - I'm not sure what the congratulations were mostly for.  Most of the people also said, "How did you do that?!?"  Not only did we get lots of crazy attention the rest of the cruise, but back then they offered a video for sale at the end of the trip of photos and video clips they took throughout the week.  Our Love and Marriage answer was part of the video along with lots of other good shots of us, so we just had to buy the video.  But it was pretty awkward coming home and showing the video to my new parents-in-law who are very conservative.  We had to distract them through the game show clip so they wouldn't notice that part.  Same thing we did recently with our kids who are 11 and 16 yo, shortly before we took them on their first cruise this year.  We showed them our old cruise video so they could laugh at how young and "90's" we looked, but we had to fast forward through the game show part.  You just can't let your in-laws or kids know all the things you did before you got married!!! 😂

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47 minutes ago, Brobbins246 said:

Old thread, but just stumbled across it and had to add a story and reply to @SpeedNoodles 😀

My husband & I had this exact thing happen to us in 1998 on our honeymoon cruise on Nordic Empress (now Empress OTS).  We got picked as the newlywed couple competing against two longer married couples, and had to say where the strangest place was we ever "did the deed".  I won't say what our answer was here, but it was pretty shocking, and we got recognized all over the ship for the rest of the cruise with congratulations.  We won the game, we'd just gotten married, and people were apparently impressed with our location answer - I'm not sure what the congratulations were mostly for.  Most of the people also said, "How did you do that?!?"  Not only did we get lots of crazy attention the rest of the cruise, but back then they offered a video for sale at the end of the trip of photos and video clips they took throughout the week.  Our Love and Marriage answer was part of the video along with lots of other good shots of us, so we just had to buy the video.  But it was pretty awkward coming home and showing the video to my new parents-in-law who are very conservative.  We had to distract them through the game show clip so they wouldn't notice that part.  Same thing we did recently with our kids who are 11 and 16 yo, shortly before we took them on their first cruise this year.  We showed them our old cruise video so they could laugh at how young and "90's" we looked, but we had to fast forward through the game show part.  You just can't let your in-laws or kids know all the things you did before you got married!!! 😂

Love it! Should we ever be on the same sailing we'll have to have a drink and compare notes, lol.

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2016 On Freedom of the Seas to the Western Caribbean, Once on board started to take full advantage of the drink pkg & the Miami vice, Muster drill time had arrived, we were all lined up for our drill. Needless to say I started at the front of the line and had worked my way to the back of the line against the wall where I slowly started to slide down the wall and pass out. Totally missed the Muster drill.

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On my first cruise ever on Liberty of the Seas in 2015, I decided to try and bring a banana on shore as a snack to Cozumel (being totally oblivious of the rules at the time). 

I was with my future in-laws (before husband and I had even gotten engaged, fairly early in our relationship), and all 9 of us had walked off the ship together. As we approach security, a dog walks up to my bag and sits. At this point, all of my future in-laws turn to look at me in horror, thinking I had drugs in my bag. 

And that's how I learned not to bring fruit off of the ship. 

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2 hours ago, Matt said:

@KLA I thought you were going to share a story about becoming stuck on the Labadee zipline

I mean, I totally can. Ryan and I laugh about this whenever we go to Labadee now. "HEY, WANNA TRY THE ZIP LINE AGAIN?"

SO... second cruise with my at this point soon-to-be in laws. It had already been kind of a comedy of errors, and now we had our first visit to Labadee and it was raining pretty much all day. We had a 10 am zip line time, and until probably 3 in the afternoon we alternated between shopping around and checking back to see if we could get on the zip line. Eventually, there was a break in the rain and we were able to get going. We completed the practice zip line no problem. 

Finally, we make the long steep drive to the top of the zip line. It's HIGH. Full of nerves, I quickly raise my hand when asked who wants to go first, because if kept standing there it would keep getting worse. Ryan and I get strapped in, getting ready to leave the rest of our family behind at the top. 

We get let go and start our decent. For a couple seconds, it's amazing and gorgeous. And then we realize the rain picked up again, and we're getting pelted with sharp little bits of cold rain. And then the WIND picks up. We feel ourselves getting blown sideways, and slowly coming to a stop. All five of us stop very far from the ending platform... in a rain storm with wind and huge waves beneath us. We were later told by our family that the operators were laughing at us before the rest of the crowd made the scary descent back down the muddy hill and in to the beach area. 

Meanwhile, we're still dangling over the water soaking in the rain. Eventually, the tour operators form a plan and they run in to the choppy water (getting pulled under continuously) to throw me a rope and instructing us to keep throwing the end of the rope to the right until everyone is holding it. After we're all holding it, they take the other line back up to the beach and start pulling us to the end platform. 

The very first words from anyone's mouth once our feet touched the ground - "You're getting a full refund!" ... 🤣

So yeah. That was my first visit to Labadee. 

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Ten years ago, I took my first cruise and found a different message board similar to this and looked for as many tips as I could find.   One tip that I took away was to take a small box of Cheerios from the breakfast buffet to take with us when we went snorkeling in Cozumel.  

I got all situated with my fins, snorkel, mask, life vest and Cheerios and headed out into the water.   I really have very little experience with snorkeling but was enjoying all of the fish that I was seeing.  I decided it was time to feed the fish.  Hmmm, how am I going to open this bag of cereal?  I'm floating in the water and have nothing sharp and only wet fingers.  I worked and worked and finally ripped the bag open, only to have the cereal all go flying in the water around me.  Instantly it was a feeding frenzy and there were fish all around me, touching me and gobbling up the cereal.  I freaked out - and quickly got away from all of the fish that were surrounding me.  

Needless to say, my friend's container of Cheerios went back on board with us.  Unopened.  😊

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We had a 10 person table on Mariner. Most of us were middle age but there was one older couple who complained about the service (which was terrific) and the fact that they hadn't been invited to dinner with the Captain and they had on every other cruise. They were real pains as they talked about what experienced cruisers they were and that the ship was like staying in a Days Inn

That night they complained to the Maître D' and were moved. In their place we got a young couple on their honeymoon cruise. They were perfect and we had so much fun. We laughed and told stories.

The next night the waiter said that the older couple wanted back, but we had to agree to asking the young couple to trade. We voted unanimously to stay the way we now were. While we were still eating the old couple came by and said that we should invite them back. We all acted like we didn't remember them at all.

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5 hours ago, Kris10May said:

Ten years ago, I took my first cruise and found a different message board similar to this and looked for as many tips as I could find.   One tip that I took away was to take a small box of Cheerios from the breakfast buffet to take with us when we went snorkeling in Cozumel.  

I got all situated with my fins, snorkel, mask, life vest and Cheerios and headed out into the water.   I really have very little experience with snorkeling but was enjoying all of the fish that I was seeing.  I decided it was time to feed the fish.  Hmmm, how am I going to open this bag of cereal?  I'm floating in the water and have nothing sharp and only wet fingers.  I worked and worked and finally ripped the bag open, only to have the cereal all go flying in the water around me.  Instantly it was a feeding frenzy and there were fish all around me, touching me and gobbling up the cereal.  I freaked out - and quickly got away from all of the fish that were surrounding me.  

Needless to say, my friend's container of Cheerios went back on board with us.  Unopened.  😊

This is a funny story !  
 

The only similar situation I can think of is at Grand Cayman.  We always sneak some cereal from the Windjammer and take with us.  We love to snorkel at Paradise.  We learned very early on that you cannot take the cereal into the water with you.  You normally end up with a soggy mess or the explosion of Cheerios that you described. We take the cereal and feed the fish from the shore.  The funny part is....the little fish absolutely gobble up the cereal but the big tarpon cannot be bothered.  They’re such snobs !

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22 minutes ago, WAAAYTOOO said:

 We always sneak some cereal from the Windjammer and take with us.  

We do that too...but last time on Navigator, we noticed that they changed the cereal boxes to cereal in dispensers.  Wonder if they got smart and realized boxes were being taken for times other than breakfast. 🤪

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A few years back we had quite a few elevator rushers on our ship.   We all know them....the ones who try to rush into the elevator before anyone can get out.  We had a huge guy (largely built and very tall) we seemed to end up in the elevator with quite often and was seated with his family at our MDR table....he was hilarious to talk to and you'd always see him ducking when walking around because his head was not far from the ceilings in some areas.  Anyway, he would stand in the elevator inches behind the door and when we reached a floor and the door opened people rushing in would be met with this towering nearly 7 feet tall/300 pound guy blocking the entire entrance.   Some people bounced off him not looking or just stopped super fast and then looked up in shock.....I still get a laugh out of that.  He kinda reminded me of Herman Munster without the bolts....lol

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Our first cruise (honeymoon, over 30 years ago) the same day we went to Labadee was also formal night, and at that time that really did mean dressing up -- I wore a nice dress, hose, heels, etc, DH had his suit.  However, on Labadee, he DID NOT put on any sunscreen, and ended up with a terrible sunburn, especially on his lower legs.  I ended up having to put cold cloths on his legs and ankles just to bring the swelling down.  That night, he was in agony wearing his suit pants, so as soon as we were done with dinner, he went back to the room to put on "dress shorts", and wore those with his dress shirt, tie & suit jacket to the Midnight Chocolate buffet 😅.

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1 minute ago, MaryCS62 said:

Our first cruise (honeymoon, over 30 years ago) the same day we went to Labadee was also formal night, and at that time that really did mean dressing up -- I wore a nice dress, hose, heels, etc, DH had his suit.  However, on Labadee, he DID NOT put on any sunscreen, and ended up with a terrible sunburn, especially on his lower legs.  I ended up having to put cold cloths on his legs and ankles just to bring the swelling down.  That night, he was in agony wearing his suit pants, so as soon as we were done with dinner, he went back to the room to put on "dress shorts", and wore those with his dress shirt, tie & suit jacket to the Midnight Chocolate buffet 😅.

Ive made that mistake before but it was the top of my feet that got roasted....guess I neglected to put sunscreen on them and we were on a boat/stingray excursion most of the day.   That was a bad idea.....any socks, shoes, sandals or just the sheets were painful for a couple days.   Caribbean sun is nothing to mess with especially for a fair skinned guy like me!

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I've learned that it's good to have two formal nights.  The first one you might not be sunburned yet and can get better pictures.  By the second one, everyone can see your white swimsuit strap lines around red shoulders that don't line up with your dress!  Don't wait until the second formal night to dress up or you might look cruise-worn by then. 🤦‍♀️

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2014 we were on a charter cruise (Monsters of Rock...imagine that). It was on a different cruise line (rhymes with MSC). They did drink packages different. It was a deal, 72 drink TICKETS for $356.00 TOTAL. When we got on board we divided up. I was to go get our VIP stuff and the Mrs. went to the designated bar for our drink ticket. Well, bar could not find our confirmation...good thing I print everything out. By this time, I am back and they hand us a standard envelop with a large amount of ticket inside.  There were 144 tickets in this envelop. Their mistake.  Two nights later, the light on our cabin phone is blinking. We call....Guest services tells the Mrs. "We have your drink tickets here. Please come get them" She explains that we SIGNED for them already. They insist that we come get these tickets....NOT 72 but 144 more drink tickets for a 4 night cruise. SHOTS FOR EVERYONE. WE MADE A LOT OF FRIENDS THAT CRUISE!!

 

288 drink tickets divided by 2 people 144 divided by 4 days = 36 drinks pp per day or one drink every 40 minutes 24/7

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