My husband and I have been happily married for 8 years, but I cruise multiple times each year without him.
At first glance, that might sound unconventional. For many couples, travel is something you do together, especially after getting married. While I absolutely love traveling with my husband, and it’s something that we’ve bonded over since we met, he isn’t always available to cruise with me.
Instead of limiting how often I travel, our arrangement has allowed me to see more of the world than I ever thought possible.
Early in our marriage, I realized that if I wanted to travel as often as I do now, I couldn’t rely on our schedules always aligning. Cruise itineraries aren’t always flexible, and some of the most unique sailings only happen once or twice a year. As a destination-focused cruiser, I’m typically drawn to itineraries that visit less common ports of call.
Waiting for the perfect overlap in our availability would mean missing out on opportunities that may not come around again for years. So instead of waiting for him to have the opportunity to cruise with me, I started booking the cruises anyway.
For instance, I recently returned from a two-week cruise aboard Celebrity Equinox, where I traveled through Patagonia and South America with my parents and sister.
This summer, we’re planning another family cruise to Norway aboard Celebrity Apex. I’ve also cruised with friends several times over the last few years, which has been a meaningful way to stay connected with those who live far away while exploring new places together.
Over the last two years, I’ve taken port-intensive itineraries across Australia, Europe, Indonesia, Africa, and Southeast Asia, many of them without my husband. It’s not the most traditional setup, but it’s one that currently works well for us.
I don’t believe marriage means putting your life on hold
One of the biggest mindset shifts for me was realizing that marriage does not have to mean doing everything together, especially when it comes to travel.
I love cruising with my husband, and some of my favorite memories are from the trips we have taken together. But I also value my own independence, and I think that has made our relationship stronger.
We took our first cruise together in college over spring break, quickly followed by a Southeast Asia cruise before graduation. Later that year, we were engaged while cruising in the Mediterranean and returned the following summer for our honeymoon cruise.
From early on, we’ve approached our marriage with the understanding that we are still individuals with our own goals, interests, and priorities. Travel has always been one of mine, and it’s something he’s understood since our very first date.
Just a few months after we met, I left for Semester at Sea, spending four months traveling around the world. It was a lifelong dream of mine, and he supported me from the beginning as I pursued that experience.
At the same time, his goal was to become a pilot. This ultimately led us into the active-duty military lifestyle shortly after we got married. As you might expect, our lives look very different now!
I learned quickly that if I wanted to travel as often as I do, I would have to be comfortable going without him sometimes. That decision has allowed me to continue building a life that feels fulfilling, rather than one that is limited by circumstances outside of my control.
His career comes with limits, while mine is very flexible
My husband’s role as an active-duty military member comes with strict limitations. He cannot take time off whenever he wants, and his leave has to be approved in advance. Some destinations are also off-limits for him to visit, which can further complicate where we are able to travel together.
On the other hand, my work is remote and flexible. I work multiple part-time jobs remotely, which allows me to travel often. I can build my schedule around travel in a way that simply is not possible for him.
This difference became even more obvious once his military commitments increased. His schedule can be unpredictable with training, deployments, and required travel. This makes planning long or last-minute cruises difficult, as our lives can change at a moment’s notice.
Rather than letting that imbalance hold me back, I made the decision not to tie my travel frequency to his availability. Instead, I wanted to make the most of the flexibility I do have and not turn down opportunities.
We don’t always want the same kind of trips
Another reality is that we do not always want to go to the same places or travel the same way.
I tend to gravitate toward longer, port-intensive itineraries that involve a lot of cultural experiences and bucket-list destinations. These cruises are often more demanding in terms of time and energy, but they are also the ones I find most rewarding.
On the other hand, my husband prefers a different pace. He enjoys travel, but he is more selective about where he goes and how he spends his time off. His ideal vacation involves more downtime and relaxation, which I prioritize for our big yearly cruise together.
There are also destinations that I am passionate about that do not interest him. For example, I had always wanted to visit South Africa for a safari. It was something I felt strongly about, while he had no desire to take that kind of trip. Instead of letting that dream sit on a list indefinitely, I went with a friend during one of his deployments.
Not to mention, these itineraries can be anywhere from 12 to 15 nights long. This would drain most of his vacation time, which we also need to reserve for holidays back home, funerals, weddings, and any other time away.
If I had waited for us to agree on every destination, I would have seen far less of the world.
Traveling without him is cheaper and allows me to cruise more often
Cruising without my husband allows me to travel more frequently because it is more affordable and more flexible. When I travel with my sister or friends, we can split the cost of a cabin and share other expenses, which makes a noticeable difference, especially on longer itineraries.
I also travel differently when he is not with me. My husband has developed a preference for newer cruise ships, upgraded cabins, and specialty dining. He often jokes that he is not meant to live an uncomfortable life (referencing The White Lotus), and I cannot argue with that!
When we travel together, we tend to splurge on upgrades because we’re prioritizing quality time and shared experiences. When I travel without him, though, I’m much more flexible. I’m perfectly happy booking an interior cabin on an older ship if it means I can take more trips throughout the year. I also don’t mind flying economy on a long-haul flight, while his 6’4 frame makes an upgraded seat much more appealing.
This has allowed me to cruise more often than I otherwise could afford. Being able to split costs with my friends or family has likely saved us thousands of dollars over time!
I love spending quality time with friends and family
One of the most special parts of traveling without my husband is the time it gives me with other people in my life.
Without fail, when I cruise with my parents and sister, people will say something like, “That’s so nice your adult children still want to travel with you.” It is rare to see a 31-year-old married adult still traveling with their parents, but I don’t mind the unconventional nature.
Since I live across the country from my family, we do not see each other as often as we would like. I might only get to see my parents a few times each year if we didn’t plan our cruises together. Instead of always traveling home to South Dakota to spend time with them, we have started planning longer cruises.
Spending 10 to 14 days together creates a kind of quality time that’s hard to replicate elsewhere. Over the years, we’ve made lasting family memories on our cruises, whether we’re exploring a new country, playing cards after dinner, or just enjoying the scenery from our balcony.
Sharing a cabin with my sister makes those trips even more special. It reminds me of when we were younger and still living at home together. We end each night laughing over TikToks or watching movies in bed. These moments have become some of my favorite parts of the experience!
The same holds true when I travel with friends. Cruising gives us uninterrupted time to reconnect in a way that everyday life rarely allows.
For example, I met one of my closest friends in the teen club back in 2008, and we’ve continued traveling together ever since. In just a few weeks, I’ll be flying to Europe to cruise across the Mediterranean with her. Over the last five years, we’ve made it a tradition to take at least one trip together each year. It's become a fun way to stay connected, especially as we live across the country from each other.
Freelance writing opened the door for more travel opportunities
Another major reason I often cruise without my husband is because of my freelance writing work. It’s much easier to justify taking a cruise when I know I can turn the experience into content and story ideas.
What started as a side gig has grown into a significant part of my career, and cruising has become one of the ways I build that work. When I started writing for Royal Caribbean Blog in 2021, I had no idea how many opportunities it would open up for me. At the time, it felt like a fun way to share my personal experiences, but it quickly evolved into something much bigger.
Since then, I’ve taken more than 20 cruises that have doubled as “work” trips over the last five years. Whether it’s reviewing a new ship, covering a unique itinerary, or sharing practical cruise tips, each trip becomes an opportunity to create something valuable.
This mindset has also helped justify trips I might not have taken otherwise. A longer itinerary or a more niche destination becomes easier to commit to when I know I can pitch stories or build content around the experience. In many ways, it’s allowed me to travel more frequently while still being productive.
Over time, my freelance work has opened the door to writing for several major publications, including Business Insider and U.S. News & World Report. What started as a small freelance opportunity has turned into a platform where I can share my experiences with a much wider audience.
Because of that, cruising without my husband doesn’t really feel like I’m leaving him behind. Instead, it feels like I’m investing in something that truly matters to me, both personally and professionally. And since his career often requires him to travel as well, we’ve developed a mutual understanding that allows us to support each other in pursuing our own dreams.
This season of life gives me the freedom to say yes
I also recognize that this level of travel is tied to a specific season of life. Right now, we do not have children, and I have a flexible career that allows me to work remotely. This combination gives me a level of freedom that I know will not last forever, so I am taking advantage of it while I can.
I know life won’t always look this way, especially since we hope to start a family in the future. That will likely be the biggest shift in how often I’m able to cruise, although I hope travel will remain an important part of our lives, just in a different way.
Because of that, I feel a strong sense of urgency to embrace these opportunities now. I want to say yes to the trips that truly excite me, whether that’s a two-week sailing through Patagonia with my family or a bucket-list itinerary across the Mediterranean with my friend.
Our arrangement works for us, and that’s what matters
I understand why cruising without my husband might seem unusual from the outside. Choosing to travel without your spouse is not what most people expect when they think about marriage.
However, we’re focused on building a life where we can support each other in pursuing what matters most. My husband supports my love of travel and freelance writing, just as I support his career and commitments.
If anything, spending time traveling independently has made the trips we take together even more meaningful. We always joke, “You can’t miss me if I’m not gone,” and there’s some truth to that. Time apart makes us appreciate the time we do have together even more.
