TheRick

I’m too tired to try to be funny. Maybe I’ll try to catch up tomorrow.

We didn’t need to show vaccine cards at the port, we even asked. They only wanted to see our negative tests.

Day 1 Harmony of the Seas August 21-29, 2022 Like a kid at Christmas, I woke up early this morning, 5:30 am to be exact, which wouldn’t be bad, except I’m from California so it was really 2:30 am my time. We took an uneventful shuttle from the hotel to the port and check in and security couldn’t have been any smoother. The port employees were super friendly and helpful. Our 10:30 am boarding was pushed back slightly, but we were on the boat by 11:00 and that wasn’t with any special boarding status. I had a drink in my hand as soon as I hit the first bar. A painkiller from Boleros. The best drink so far. We went to the windjammer to eat and make show reservations. A nice gentleman was walking around offering Bahama Mamas and I didn’t want to offend him so I got one. I ate mahi mahi, roast beef, and potato wedges, the food was okay, what you’d expect from a buffet. I finished my drink and left to the pool deck to find a bar with a blender. I ordered a lava flow with kraken. The bartender didn’t know how to make a lava flow while giving a valiant effort. I give him credit for trying something new. While drinking my lava flow, that nice gentleman offered me another Bahama mama. I had to politely decline his offer because my wife told me to slow down. I had three drinks in an hour and it was only noon or 9:00 am California time. We mustered, checked into our room and unpacked before my wife headed out to get a pedicure at the spa, I warned her about the high pressure add ons they try to sell you. She assured me she wouldn’t get suckered, so naturally she bought an add on. Next was sail away where we passed Kennedy Space Center, where supposedly we could see the rocket on the launch pad for next Monday’s launch. We didn’t see it. After sail away we headed to dinner. I ordered two appetizers, the Maryland style crab cakes (delicious) and the escargot. The escargot was just okay, but much better than I remember the taste of the garden variety snails I ate from our yard as a young boy. Maybe boy me put too much salt on them back in the day. For my entrée I had the prime rib, which the horseradish au jus sold me, unfortunately I tasted no horseradish, bummer. The apple blossom pastry and ice cream for dessert was tasty. I had a glass of Merlot with dinner. After dinner we got separated from our family so I talked my wife into going to the Wonderland bar for a drink. I had the white rabbit Rita and my wife had the smoke rings. If you go on Harmony of the Seas, I highly recommend you get the Smoke Rings, for presentation alone it gets an AA++++++. Next was the Aqua theater show Fine Line. I’m mixed, because there was way too much dancing for my taste, but the high divers and slack liners were amazing. I almost had a heart attack with the high wire act. Fricken amazing. I liked the show, but wouldn’t see it a second time. Next was Nick Reeve playing piano and vocals at the schooner bar. He was terrific. Then it was a slice of pizza at Sorrento’s followed by a trip to the room for a shower and bed. Stray observations: I was so worried about getting seasick, but so far nothing. I told my wife she had to take care of me if I vomit because of our wedding vows, in seasickness and in health. She’s not buying it. The sea seems flatter than my first girlfriend, no, no, no, it’s not what you think, she was run over by a steamroller our senior year. We didn’t work out, not because she was flattened, it’s just I could be a little much and her patience grew thin. But don’t feel bad for us, I met my wife and she married Flat Stanley. They have a small family. The USB outlets in our room don’t work. We reported it, but it hasn’t been fixed yet. With rechargeable hearing aids, phones, my Cpap and other things we play power outlet roulette. Tomorrow is Cococay, I don’t know if anyone is interested, but I’ll report back tomorrow night. Good night.

The day before “Hello darkness my old friend”. When Simon and Garfunkel weren’t singing about it, they weren’t singing about getting up at 3:30 AM, because we woke up at 3:30 this morning and I can confirm, it was dark, but it wasn’t friendly. Our flight departed from Sacramento at 7:20 pacific time this morning and we stayed about 45 minutes from the airport last night. The first flight went well. I was prepared. I downloaded shows from Netflix, downloaded a playlist from Apple Music, and downloaded an audiobook. I was prepared for almost anything…almost. My hearing aids hook to my phone so I can actually hear my phone, but for some reason, my hearing aids weren’t connecting to my phone during the flight. I was stuck only looking at what was in the cloud, and I’m not talking the internet, I’m talking the white, fluffy ones. We had an almost two hour layover at Dallas/Fort Worth airport where we had a delicious lunch and boarded our connecting flight with no problems…then problems. Due to bad weather on our route, they had to find a new way for us to get to Florida. We sat on the tarmac during mid afternoon in Texas in August with no air. Luckily I have a few layers of fat, so I didn’t get cold. The flight was bumpy and my hearing aids still didn’t connect to my phone, but I did find the Little League World Series to watch, no sound needed. Due to lightning storms, no planes were leaving so there were no gates to taxi to, but the air was on in the plane and I got to watch an additional hour of the little league World Series. It is 9:13 Orlando time(6:13 back home time). We are still waiting on the hotel shuttle. The weather isn’t as bad as I was expecting as we wait. Tomorrow we have a 10:30 am check in time for Harmony of the Seas. I’ll report back tomorrow, hopefully a little more rested and a lot drunker.

Two days to go We drove from our rural county in very Northern California to Sacramento, where my parents live. My parents, my two siblings, and their spouses along with my niece and one of my nephews are going on this cruise. We will stay with my parents in Folsom (the town, not the prison) to save hotel expenses. We’re flying out of Sacramento International Airport to the Orlando Airport tomorrow. We drove to Folsom because the flight from our rural county to Sacramento airport (which is less than 300 miles) would be over $1200 round trip for the two of us and over 7 hours. The drive was five hours and costs about $70 in gas and another $20 for food. Since there isn’t a lot of food choices in our area, when we travel, we only eat at places we don’t have at home. The options for dining are limited until we get closer to Sacramento. But we stopped at a Chevron gas station that has a deli for lunch. I know what you are thinking, gas station deli while traveling? To be honest the food was good and doing a cost benefit analysis before we left, the risk of diarrhea out weighed the cost of the flight and the extra two hours to added by flying. Even if you factor the worst-case scenario where we would’ve had to stop at a Walmart to buy a six pack of whitey tighties because, well you know. We still would’ve had a net savings of over $1,100 dollars by driving. We played our favorite traveling by car game which is my wife telling me to slow down, only to have her tell me to speed up as soon as I slow down. I have a better shot at being struck by lightning twice while cashing in my winning lottery ticket than driving the right speed according to my wife. We are in Folsom California now, just outside Sacramento. It is hot here, 104 degrees, where we live we’re lucky if the temperatures reach the low 70’s during the hottest part of the year. It’s so hot here I don’t need my wife’s deodorant. Secret may be strong enough for a man but made for a woman, but I need super duper secret, strong enough for Satan’s undercarriage but made for a man. Tomorrow we fly from Sacramento to Orlando so I will report back tomorrow when we arrive in Florida.

Three days and counting I’m a negative person, my wife could attest to that, but just to be certain, I got a medical professional to confirm it. I performed the proctored e-med test this morning and it was negative and I’m positive about that. Even better news, my wife is negative too. It would’ve been horrible if she tested positive because I would miss her while I sunned on the pool deck with a lava flow in my hand while she would be home coughing up a lung. I probably would feel a little guilty leaving her behind, but another cocktail would help me forget (and yes I know if she tested positive, I wouldn’t be able to go, it was just a joke). The test was pretty easy, although since I’m hard of hearing and still don’t hear well even with my hearing aids, I had to ask her to repeat herself a few time. Like my wife always says, not every sentence begins with, huh. I think secretly my dog was rooting for a positive test. He’s not very happy about us leaving, I can tell because he chewed holes into all our masks. Never ever has my dog wished for us to get the ‘Rona. The cats on the other hand, don’t give a crap about us, as long as someone feeds them and leaves them alone, they will ignore anyone just as easily as they ignore us. They are equal opportunity jerks. They probably figure they can poop in the houseplants and puke on the couch whether we are there or not. As I mentioned before, I want to leave today and my wife wants to leave tomorrow. After my passionate plea, she listened to me and agreed that I didn’t really want to leave today, so alas we are leaving tomorrow morning and by morning, I mean I’ll be ready by eight and we’ll leave by noon, hopefully. I’ll report back tomorrow for the first of our two travel days.

So if you test positive, you are going to fly across the country and potentially infect an entire plane full of people?

I can’t wait to experience it. We will be on Cococay in 5 days

I was hoping they had one at Chill Island.

I can’t wait for your update

Is there a cashier on the ship so if I wanted to break down bigger bills into smaller bills, I’d that possible or do I need to bring a stack of 1’s, 5’s and 10’s

What beach or beaches at Cococay have a swim up bar. I know the lagoon has one in the pool, but we are more interested in one at the beach. We are trying to plan ahead, our cruise leaves in 6 days.

We are scheduled for November on Navigator. I’m curious what it will be like then.

Eight Days and Counting We have eight days to go and we are already packing. In our defense we leave town in either five or six days. I want to leave on the 18th and my wife wants to leave on the 19th (we will stay with my parents so we won’t have to pay for a hotel). Like any good couple, we will calmly discuss why we want to leave when we do. Have a civil debate before coming up with a compromise, which means we will do whatever she wants. We have two large suitcases, a carry on, and my C-Pap machine. We decided because we have two suitcases, we will put half my clothes in one suitcase and the other half in the second suitcase. We will do the same with my wife’s clothes, that way if one of our bags gets lost on the flight from California to Florida, we’ll each have some clothes to get by. My wife and I have been married for 30 years and together for 33, we have weathered many storms including the awful plunger incident of ’91 (which she brings up at least once every few months), and most recently when she reset my Wordle stats back to zero. But I will tell you right now, if we don’t separate our clothes and one of our suitcases gets lost in transit forcing my wife to wear my skivvies for seven days, we’ll probably never recover from that. Since I’m retired and my wife still works, I offered to take a load of her shoulders and pack for both. She responded with an enthusiastic, “Not a chance in Hell, buddy.” She would rather spend all day in work meetings that easily could’ve been an email than have me pack for her or myself or anyone for that matter. I am so bad at packing that she wouldn’t allow me to even pack for her worst enemy. I don’t blame her one bit, I mean last time I packed for myself I ended up with two pairs of jammies, one shirt with a mustard stain, and eight pairs of undies for a 3-day weekend getaway, because when I pack underwear, I am like a fricken Boy Scout, “Be Prepared.” Here is how I pack my chonies: one pair for day one and one pair in case I poop myself. One pair for day two and one pair in case I eat Taco Bell for lunch (If you know, you know). One pair for day three and one pair for…surely it can’t happen three days in a row, but just in case, one more pair. And finally, two extra pairs just because. I always forget socks. It’s like my hidden talent to forget to pack socks. My wife is afraid if I pack for myself I might end up bringing three pairs of snow pants to the Caribbean, but hey, you never know when you need a good pair of snow pants. We have stacks and stacks of new clothing my wife has been buying since we booked the cruise almost six months ago, yet I am not allowed to wear any of them. I swear, you get one little mustard stain on your shirt every time you wear one, and suddenly your wife doesn’t trust you around clothes…and food. Remember when you were a kid and you went to your friend’s house where the couch was covered in plastic and you weren’t allowed to sit on it? It’s the same thing with my stack of cruise clothing. My wife is packing and I’m in the room to lend moral support, but I’m not paying very much attention. When I arrive on the ship and open my suitcase it will be a surprise, like when my kids were younger and they opened their Christmas presents in front of me and I see for the first time, what we got them. I’ll be back in a few days to report on my pre embarkation testing and our traveling from rural county in California to the Sacramento area.

Does anyone know how the unrest in Baja California will affect cruises, especially to Ensenada?

Thank you. Sorry about the autocorrect misspellings

Do I need to make an appointment in advance for the proctored e-med test or do I just log on and wait for an opening? Ten days until our cruise, can’t wait.

How do I order a lava flow with kraken rum. Is it made with regular rum and have a kraken floater or do I order it made with kraken rum in the drink?

T-Minus 12 Days I must admit, I’m quite envious when I hear about people booking over the water cabanas at Perfect Day at Coco Cay, or eating at Coastal Kitchen, or emailing back and forth with their Genie because unless I find a magic lamp on St. Kitts, I’m not getting a Genie. How I wish I could book a suite, I mean who doesn’t want to stay in the owner’s suite with all the space, all the amenities, and a bidet, I will miss having a bidet, but since I’m on a tight budget, my rump and I will rough it in a balcony room. Like many Americans, I live from paycheck to four days before the next paycheck. Being a cheapskate comes naturally to me. Some might even say it’s a gift. Okay, okay, no one calls it a gift, especially my wife. Here I will chronicle our seven-day Eastern Caribbean cruise on Harmony of the Seas while attempting to save as much money as possible without compromising on having fun. I pre-booked our cruise, the deluxe drink package, internet package, and two excursions. I rushed to book the cruise instead of taking the time to try to get the best deal possible; although, I’m pleased with our deal. The reason for rushing the booking was the sale was set to expire in 1 hours and 52 minutes and I didn’t want to miss out. Little did I know that this is the sale that never ends, it goes on and on my friends. I suspect that this current sale and all the extensions date back to the day when Noah chartered the Ark of the Seas from Royal Caribbean during the Great Flood. I think I might have been bamboozled by the threat of the sale ending. I booked all the add-ons we wanted; repricing, cancelling, and rebooking when the prices dropped. We saved on the internet package by booking one internet package with two devices instead of two individual packages. Originally, I booked the deluxe drink package for $77.99 per person/per day. My wallet wept that day. I cancelled and rebooked when the price dropped to $72.99 pp/pd. And did it once again when the price dropped to $65.99 pp/pd. My wallet no longer weeps uncontrollably, but it does whimper from time to time, not to mention, my liver is not so pleased either. I’m not going to go all Ebenezer Scrooge to the point we don’t enjoy ourselves, but we are not going to spend freely like the Real Housewives of the Seas. This is our first cruise in what seems like forever and that’s a might long time, but I’m here to tell you, there’s something else, the barometer. A world of measuring how we can save on future cruses, such as the four-day Catalina and Ensenada cruise we have booked in November. The November cruise we will be thriftier. There are a few things I won’t skimp on and they are as follows: 1. Gratuities. We prepaid our gratuities, but I plan on tipping above and beyond, because I may be a cheapskate, but I’m not an A-hole. Well, I may be an A-hole, but I’m not the kind of A-hole that would screw over someone else on tips just to save a few bucks. 2. My wife made it clear that she wants something special from the ship. I plugged the words “something special” into my husband/wife translator and it comes back as jewelry. 3. Souvenirs for the grandkids. I am thinking of something loud and obnoxious; payback is a…, well you know. 4. And finally, I will not lie, cheat, or scheme to get something for free. For example, if we eat at a specialty restaurant, I won’t lie to the waitstaff telling them there’s a toe in my risotto (or would it be risot-toe) just to get a free meal. Even if my risotto has a toe in it, I hate confrontation, so I’ll probably keep quite while eating around it. I’m almost certain that quality control on the Harmony of the Seas is good enough to catch a stray toe in the food being served, at least I hope so. I will be updating a few times leading up to our cruise with my observations on the preparations and then once we board I will live blog our experience.

Ours was 45 days before

I have read that, but it doesn’t apply to us because we are going on a seven night cruise. I was just pondering my hope they act like carnival and make testing three days before instead of two.

Carnival cruise line has changed their testing to up to 3 days before sailing. I hope Royal Caribbean follows their lead. It would be nice to be able to test prior to leaving home to fly across the country just in case the worst case scenario happens at least I would be home.

Edited because I was too snarky. Sorry.

Update: I reached out to Royal Caribbean customer service via Twitter (I hate talking on the phone). They took care of it so fast (in about a half an hour of back and forth) and now my wife has her points as a gold member. I know it’s not much now, but it’s 15 points closer to diamond status. Excellent customer service.

When we booked our cruise and downloaded the app I had 15 crown and anchor points. My wife downloaded the app and doesn’t have any. We cruised a few times early in our marriage with the first time our honeymoon in 1992. Could the reason she has no points be because our first cruise was booked under her maiden name? Is there a way to check on it? If so can I check on it for her since she works and I’m retired?