SeaPass and Naming Question

[AdvanceTripper]

Hi all - I'm sure this has been answered somewhere, but I cannot find the thread and I'm a noob...so please have patience. 

I have a 16 year old transgender (M/F) traveling with us on Allure in July. She is very sensitive about her new name and not using the dead one. While the reservation is booked in her dead name, can we have the SeaPass name changed? 

For context, her driver's license will have the dead name, but list gender as F. So does the passport. (that's a name change-in-process government waiting period). Plus, she presents as female.

[Thorntor]

Suggest you contact Royal with this question and speak with a supervisor.  For what it’s worth, I believe you will find that the the government ID, reservation name, vax card, and covid test results name (first and last test names) all have to match.  Our first cruise to Alaska I mistakenly entered my wife’s birthday as day/month/year on the boarding data and we were absolutely the last cleared through Canadian customs and boarding the ship.  Good Luck.

[Reigert2008]

1 hour ago, AdvanceTripper said:

Hi all - I'm sure this has been answered somewhere, but I cannot find the thread and I'm a noob...so please have patience. 

I have a 16 year old transgender (M/F) traveling with us on Allure in July. She is very sensitive about her new name and not using the dead one. While the reservation is booked in her dead name, can we have the SeaPass name changed? 

For context, her driver's license will have the dead name, but list gender as F. So does the passport. (that's a name change-in-process government waiting period). Plus, she presents as female.

I think in this case you will need to reach our to Royal or your travel agent.  They will best be able to get you the correct information and ensure you have any documentation that may be needed to facilitate things.  Good Luck!

[recogneyes]

One thing to consider is that if you plan to leave the ship, some ports require you to have ID and your Seapass card.  If they do not match, you could have issues.  

[AshleyDillo]

It's likely that until her name is legally changed, she will have the dead name on her SeaPass card and they could refer to her by her dead name onboard. If she is sensitive about that, you may just want to make her aware of this so she isn't caught too off guard. 

SeaPass cards don't typically allow nicknames or anything other than legal names. It is possible they could have a special one printed up at Guest Services, but I don't know that her new name would be reflected in the system when they're scanning her card at all.

[SemperMom]

Let me know what you find out. I'm seriously considering just changing my kids name officially. Not only are they T/G, they HATE the name we gave them. Thankfully their chosen name is great and as non-binary as they are AND there was no special reason for the original name we gave them so I am not offended at all to change it forever. lol 

[twangster]

I think everything is tied to the passport or ID presented at check in and on the reservation.  This is populated on a manifest that is submitted to every government of every nation visited so they can clear the ship in bulk ahead of time.  Because it's all tied to governmental functions I think the Seapass card is fixed to the manifest.

Let us know how you make out with Royal.  

[Pattycruise]

If it helps any -f you have dining in the Main dining room the waitstaff tends to ask what you prefer to be called.
ALSO, perhaps put a label on the card-with the preferred name.  Obviously when it is scanned it will populate with the given name, but those who see the label will likely use the preferred name, I would hope. Maybe label both sides.

 

[Katiemay0101]

Had the same question 2 years ago while we were going through the process for my son. He had to have his dead name on the sea pass because it matched all of his documentation at the time. It sucked for him but once on board we put a sticker (brought it with us because we expected this to happen) over the dead name and the crew was great about using his preferred name and pronouns. When we booked the latest cruise it was a simple matter of telling RC that everything had been legally changed and they were super easy to work with to have everything updated. To all the parents walking this path with their kiddos, good luck and warm hugs! 

Kate

[Funeegal]

Hi - This happened to us as well.  We changed our child's name legally before the cruise, but after our airline tickets were purchased.  RCL was easy and so accommodating....legal name must match legal identification and all reservations were changed.  The airline was a very different story and a pain to change even though we had proof of the legal name change.  Also note, forms have not caught up and do not always differentiate sex from gender.  There isn't always an option for Other or Prefer not to disclose.  

I love @Katiemay's sticker solution!  

Love to all of the supportive parents out there!  Our kiddos are amazing and so brave!

 

[CruisingNewb]

My wife experienced this name mess on our first cruise.  Birth certificate, marriage license, passport, and driver's license all had different derivations of her name, added name, and last name.  We had to have ALL documents showing ALL names to corroborate.  We knew this would be a big deal boarding.  

Although it is not exactly the same considering we are talking about a teenager and identity concerns, but here are my thoughts:

1. Take "Hello My Name Is..." stickers and write the child's preferred name on it for a few days.  My experience with cruise staff members is that they are quick to memorize your preferences.

2. Use this as a learning experience and teach your child that things like name/gender/identity changes are a process and immediate results aren't going to happen.  I am totally sympathetic to this issue but also realistic as a parent and working professional.  I do a lot of legal name/identifier change requests and have to explain to clients all the time that nothing happens overnight.  

3. Your 16 year old is...well...a 16 year old.  Be prepared for the resulting emotions and frustrations.  Be patient and provide comfort.  That is pretty much all we can do as parents.

I have recently learned that saying "I'm sorry" that this happened to you may prompt "I don't need your 'sorry'" responses, so I will just say good luck.

[AdvanceTripper]

On 2/15/2022 at 4:15 PM, SemperMom said:

Let me know what you find out. I'm seriously considering just changing my kids name officially. Not only are they T/G, they HATE the name we gave them. Thankfully their chosen name is great and as non-binary as they are AND there was no special reason for the original name we gave them so I am not offended at all to change it forever. lol 

Thanks again to everyone who responded! I appreciate it. 

Right now, the SeaPass name has to match. I'm pretty sure my daughter is going to pass on this trip with the rest of us until she gets her official name change (which, in our state, takes anywhere from 6 months to a year). 

[AdvanceTripper]

On 2/16/2022 at 9:09 AM, Katiemay said:

Had the same question 2 years ago while we were going through the process for my son. He had to have his dead name on the sea pass because it matched all of his documentation at the time. It sucked for him but once on board we put a sticker (brought it with us because we expected this to happen) over the dead name and the crew was great about using his preferred name and pronouns. When we booked the latest cruise it was a simple matter of telling RC that everything had been legally changed and they were super easy to work with to have everything updated. To all the parents walking this path with their kiddos, good luck and warm hugs! 

Kate

Thanks, Kate. I believe she's going to sit this one out until the name is officially changed. Plus, she feels like within the next year, she will present better as female; at any rate, it's like a 6 month to year process for the name change. It's extremely complicated (maybe it is everywhere) but I also know that includes a new SSN and revised birth certificate. THEN we can start the passport process.

[AdvanceTripper]

On 2/16/2022 at 11:09 AM, CruisingNewb said:

My wife experienced this name mess on our first cruise.  Birth certificate, marriage license, passport, and driver's license all had different derivations of her name, added name, and last name.  We had to have ALL documents showing ALL names to corroborate.  We knew this would be a big deal boarding.  

Although it is not exactly the same considering we are talking about a teenager and identity concerns, but here are my thoughts:

1. Take "Hello My Name Is..." stickers and write the child's preferred name on it for a few days.  My experience with cruise staff members is that they are quick to memorize your preferences.

2. Use this as a learning experience and teach your child that things like name/gender/identity changes are a process and immediate results aren't going to happen.  I am totally sympathetic to this issue but also realistic as a parent and working professional.  I do a lot of legal name/identifier change requests and have to explain to clients all the time that nothing happens overnight.  

3. Your 16 year old is...well...a 16 year old.  Be prepared for the resulting emotions and frustrations.  Be patient and provide comfort.  That is pretty much all we can do as parents.

I have recently learned that saying "I'm sorry" that this happened to you may prompt "I don't need your 'sorry'" responses, so I will just say good luck.

Oh, good luck is fine! No worries at all. I appreciate your time in the response. I WILL say (and agree) we are running into a "16 year olds want it now" and it's just that simple in terms of government ID. 

[Jean Grey]

Let me tell you that Royal Caribbean has absolutely been the worst company I’ve ever dealt with in regards to this topic. I’m a trans nonbinary person with an X gender marker on my legal IDs. RC refuses to acknowledge it for my upcoming cruise. They only offer male/female as gender options and it will default to male. I even had a customer service supervisor say “well that’s all we have so pick one “. While I understand that other gender markers are relatively new, they’ve been around long enough for RC to get their act together. The entire experience of dealing with them has been insulting and dehumanizing. Honestly if this trip weren’ta gift for my partner I would have already cancelled. I’ll never sail with them again.

[SpeedNoodles]

36 minutes ago, Jean Grey said:

Let me tell you that Royal Caribbean has absolutely been the worst company I’ve ever dealt with in regards to this topic. I’m a trans nonbinary person with an X gender marker on my legal IDs. RC refuses to acknowledge it for my upcoming cruise. They only offer male/female as gender options and it will default to male. I even had a customer service supervisor say “well that’s all we have so pick one “. While I understand that other gender markers are relatively new, they’ve been around long enough for RC to get their act together. The entire experience of dealing with them has been insulting and dehumanizing. Honestly if this trip weren’ta gift for my partner I would have already cancelled. I’ll never sail with them again.

Unfortunately, not many other cruise lines have anything other than male/female when booking.  The only one I found was Virgin.  But they seem like fun!  

Good luck, and I hope you will be able to enjoy your trip somehow.

[King of Wales]

7 hours ago, Jean Grey said:

Let me tell you that Royal Caribbean has absolutely been the worst company I’ve ever dealt with in regards to this topic. I’m a trans nonbinary person with an X gender marker on my legal IDs. RC refuses to acknowledge it for my upcoming cruise. They only offer male/female as gender options and it will default to male. I even had a customer service supervisor say “well that’s all we have so pick one “. While I understand that other gender markers are relatively new, they’ve been around long enough for RC to get their act together. The entire experience of dealing with them has been insulting and dehumanizing. Honestly if this trip weren’ta gift for my partner I would have already cancelled. I’ll never sail with them again.

I am sure your confronted with challenges on a daily basis, and I’m sympathetic toward that reality.  That said, change isn’t instant. The world is still trying to overcome racism, women's equality, access for handicapped  people, and those movements started decades (or even centuries) ago. You’d think those who expect and demand acceptance and tolerance would be more tolerant of those who can’t change overnight.  
We have a child that is trans and they celebrate the wins and are hopeful and patient when they need to be.  As it relates to cruising they’ve commented to us that they feel the crew has always been very respectful and made them feel comfortable while on the ships.  It’s a big part of why we cruise (and specifically with Royal) as not all vacations have provided that experience for my family.

[twangster]

10 hours ago, Jean Grey said:

Let me tell you that Royal Caribbean has absolutely been the worst company I’ve ever dealt with in regards to this topic. I’m a trans nonbinary person with an X gender marker on my legal IDs. RC refuses to acknowledge it for my upcoming cruise. They only offer male/female as gender options and it will default to male. I even had a customer service supervisor say “well that’s all we have so pick one “. While I understand that other gender markers are relatively new, they’ve been around long enough for RC to get their act together. The entire experience of dealing with them has been insulting and dehumanizing. Honestly if this trip weren’ta gift for my partner I would have already cancelled. I’ll never sail with them again.

I appreciate this is a topic that is very important to you.  I'd be interested to see if any cruise line, or airline, handles this differently for international travel.  

A cruise ship always involves international travel, at least for the mass market cruise lines.  The name has to match government ID and that is the name that is the basis of the passenger manifest.  The passenger manifest is submitted to every country visited on the cruise.  The passenger manifest is the basis of immigration processing at each stop on a cruise.

The problem with international travel (that by definition involves other countries) is that the international community isn't as quick to evolve beyond old ways.  

Royal Caribbean has no choice but to follow the name on the ID that will be used for travel because that is the name that becomes the entry for a guest on the passenger manifest.  Unlike a local business in a country that more quickly adapt, when international travel is involved it isn't as easy, yet. 

[AdvanceTripper]

On 2/15/2022 at 3:57 PM, recogneyes said:

One thing to consider is that if you plan to leave the ship, some ports require you to have ID and your Seapass card.  If they do not match, you could have issues.  

Ah, that's a good point I didn't think of...thanks.

[AdvanceTripper]

On 12/11/2022 at 12:36 PM, Jean Grey said:

Let me tell you that Royal Caribbean has absolutely been the worst company I’ve ever dealt with in regards to this topic. I’m a trans nonbinary person with an X gender marker on my legal IDs. RC refuses to acknowledge it for my upcoming cruise. They only offer male/female as gender options and it will default to male. I even had a customer service supervisor say “well that’s all we have so pick one “. While I understand that other gender markers are relatively new, they’ve been around long enough for RC to get their act together. The entire experience of dealing with them has been insulting and dehumanizing. Honestly if this trip weren’ta gift for my partner I would have already cancelled. I’ll never sail with them again.

I'm late on my replies, but thank you for sharing this - I appreciate it. My daughter ended up NOT going (the cruise was back in July) so it was a non-starter BUT - this WILL happen in her life again and again (I'm sure) and until things start to change, the equality of life will never be there.