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Fake, Made Up and Completely Impossible Virtual Cruise Blog


twangster

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I have a fever but it isn't from COVID-19.  I have cruise fever and an itch I can't scratch.   

So why not join me for a wild and impossible cruise itinerary involving teleporting between cabins, ships and continents? 

The Captains have gone crazy and with the newly installed warp drives I'll be having dinner in the Northern hemisphere and eating breakfast in the Southern hemisphere.   From the Oasis Lagoon at CocoCay to an Alaskan glacier the next day.  From the zip line at Labadee through the Panama Canal down under to the Sydney Harbour Bridge in the blink of an eye, this is going to be a wild ride.  

Cruise Itinerary:  Haven't decided yet, we'll see how this plays out.

Cruise Length:  Haven't decided yet, we'll see how this plays out.

Leaving from:  Haven't decided yet, we'll see how this plays out.

 

With a special waiver from the CDC (Cruise Denying Consulate) no ships or crew will be harmed or exposed in the making up of this fake cruise.   

Sit back, buckle up and enjoy the ride.  ?

Time to spin the hand sanitizer bottle and see where to begin this journey...

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Since it's August as I write this I've decided to start this cruise in Alaska.  I'll be flying to Anchorage and taking the train to Seward.  

Fortunately the flights are near empty and I scored an upgrade to Presidential Class.

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The Cruise Denying Consulate (CDC) initially denied the plan I submitted but after the 443rd revision they not only approved my plan but they were so impressed with my protocols they offered to fly me to Anchorage and they came to the airport to see me off:

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Apparently the plane was available briefly between jaunts to the golf course so I jumped at the chance to fly this beauty.

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It was a great day for flying and while my airplane cabin had windows on both sides the best views were on the right side of plane as we approached Anchorage.

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It's so nice flying private without the hassle of the TSA or waiting for luggage.  I'll have to book this class more often from now on.

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A new fake feature is the Royal Transporter.  I dropped by just in time to see some new guests arriving from another ship.

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? :CBS/Paramount

Pricing:

For $79.95* (plus 18% gratuity) you can be transported to another ship.  For a discounted rate of $39.95* (plus 18% gratuity) they will transport you to a random ship they choose.  Finally a heavily discounted rate is offered at $19.95* (plus 18% gratuity) but it will transport you to a different cruise line.  This is a one way trip as the Royal Transporter is only available on Royal Caribbean ships.   

* Crown And Anchor Society discounts apply.  Gold 10% off.  Platinum 15% off.  Emerald 20% off.  Diamond and Diamond Plus 30% off.  Pinnacle who have been cranky get a free transport to another ship, otherwise Pinnacle get a 50% discount.

I packed my bags and used some of my OBC for the $39.95 transport.  I'm not sure where I'll be on day two, but at least I'll be on a Royal Caribbean ship.  

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Day Two

Whoa!  That was psychedelic!    

The Royal Transporter brought me to Adventure of the Seas in Quebec City.  

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Quebec City is a wonderland old walled city rich in history and Voyager class is a real sweet spot as cruise ships go.  I think scored big time with the Royal Transporter team.  I'll have to mention them on the post-cruise survey.

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Day Three

Riding in the Royal Transporter is a lot like riding the Ultimate Abyss.  Keep your elbows in at all times but otherwise it's a fun ride.

Now onto the next ship on this virtual fake cruise...

  • "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated?" - Mark Twain
  • "It ain't over till it's over." - Yogi Berra 
  • "I don't have to believe everything I read on the internet.  Only time will tell" - Me

Given the rumor mill that has been in full swing I'd thought I'd return to my favorite little ship with the biggest heart - Empress of the Seas.  

For those that haven't heard speculation fed rumors have Empress leaving the fleet.  Royal Caribbean denies these rumors so I'm going with that.  Just in case, I'm planning this next segment of my virtual cruise on my favorite little ship.

As long as she is being offered I'll keep booking cruises on this little gem.  Debating her fate can be experienced in other threads, this is my small tribute to her and I thank you for keeping this thread that way.

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