twangster Posted August 3, 2020 Report Share Posted August 3, 2020 I have a fever but it isn't from COVID-19. I have cruise fever and an itch I can't scratch. So why not join me for a wild and impossible cruise itinerary involving teleporting between cabins, ships and continents? The Captains have gone crazy and with the newly installed warp drives I'll be having dinner in the Northern hemisphere and eating breakfast in the Southern hemisphere. From the Oasis Lagoon at CocoCay to an Alaskan glacier the next day. From the zip line at Labadee through the Panama Canal down under to the Sydney Harbour Bridge in the blink of an eye, this is going to be a wild ride. Cruise Itinerary: Haven't decided yet, we'll see how this plays out. Cruise Length: Haven't decided yet, we'll see how this plays out. Leaving from: Haven't decided yet, we'll see how this plays out. With a special waiver from the CDC (Cruise Denying Consulate) no ships or crew will be harmed or exposed in the making up of this fake cruise. Sit back, buckle up and enjoy the ride. Time to spin the hand sanitizer bottle and see where to begin this journey... Jax, Ogilthorpe, WAAAYTOOO and 9 others 8 1 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 3, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2020 Since it's August as I write this I've decided to start this cruise in Alaska. I'll be flying to Anchorage and taking the train to Seward. Fortunately the flights are near empty and I scored an upgrade to Presidential Class. The Cruise Denying Consulate (CDC) initially denied the plan I submitted but after the 443rd revision they not only approved my plan but they were so impressed with my protocols they offered to fly me to Anchorage and they came to the airport to see me off: Apparently the plane was available briefly between jaunts to the golf course so I jumped at the chance to fly this beauty. JLMoran, RWDW1204, ellcee and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 3, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2020 It was a great day for flying and while my airplane cabin had windows on both sides the best views were on the right side of plane as we approached Anchorage. It's so nice flying private without the hassle of the TSA or waiting for luggage. I'll have to book this class more often from now on. Skigoofy, Ogilthorpe, DDaley and 3 others 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLMoran Posted August 3, 2020 Report Share Posted August 3, 2020 A new Twangster blog!! A new Twangster blog!!! I don't care if it's completely fake and all the pictures have been seen before, IT'S A FREAKING NEW TWANGSTER BLOG!!!!! Snotarni, SpeedNoodles, Ogilthorpe and 11 others 5 8 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Smooth flight, meal service was typical airline food so, meh. The plane had really fast WiFi though so that was nice. I jumped in an Uber to the train terminal and boarded the train from Anchorage to Seward. Lovetocruise2002, ellcee, Jax and 2 others 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Bar service in Gold Star: In my made up trip it's 5 o'clock everywhere all the time! ellcee, RWDW1204, Jax and 7 others 7 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Alaska is beautiful just in case you didn't know. Social distancing from the people in the other train... "Can I have your number?" Drat. I don't think she heard me. JLMoran, Skigoofy, ellcee and 2 others 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Halfway to Seward. parkyy2k, Skigoofy, Ogilthorpe and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Finally we arrived in Seward. I never realized how much I would miss this sign. JLMoran, Ogilthorpe and Skigoofy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Wait, what is that? Is that what I think it is? I think it is. That mythical object that we have been banned from seeing all this time. It's a cruise ship! DDaley, JLMoran, Ogilthorpe and 3 others 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 IT'S CRUISE DAY!!! My made up cruise will start on Radiance of the Seas. All aboard! Skigoofy, Ogilthorpe, KristiZ and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 The Captain was so impressed with me that he said I could skip muster. Not! Ugh. No one is wearing a mask. The Cruise Denying Consulate is not going to be impressed. Look CDC... a pretty rainbow! Ogilthorpe, Skigoofy, JLMoran and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Saw a whale feeding right at the port. The cruise hasn't started yet and already Alaska is impressing. Ogilthorpe, RWDW1204, ellcee and 2 others 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Sail away time! Let the cruise begin! JLMoran, Skigoofy, Ogilthorpe and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 What follows sail away? Sunset. The Captain mentioned a new feature. Something about a transporter that's been installed in the VCL. I'll check it out later. Skigoofy, Ogilthorpe, JLMoran and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 A new fake feature is the Royal Transporter. I dropped by just in time to see some new guests arriving from another ship. :CBS/Paramount Pricing: For $79.95* (plus 18% gratuity) you can be transported to another ship. For a discounted rate of $39.95* (plus 18% gratuity) they will transport you to a random ship they choose. Finally a heavily discounted rate is offered at $19.95* (plus 18% gratuity) but it will transport you to a different cruise line. This is a one way trip as the Royal Transporter is only available on Royal Caribbean ships. * Crown And Anchor Society discounts apply. Gold 10% off. Platinum 15% off. Emerald 20% off. Diamond and Diamond Plus 30% off. Pinnacle who have been cranky get a free transport to another ship, otherwise Pinnacle get a 50% discount. I packed my bags and used some of my OBC for the $39.95 transport. I'm not sure where I'll be on day two, but at least I'll be on a Royal Caribbean ship. SpeedNoodles, ellcee, Big Tule and 10 others 1 10 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FionaMG Posted August 4, 2020 Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 This is so cool! Cruise Denying Consulate!!! hahaha Ogilthorpe and twangster 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WAAAYTOOO Posted August 4, 2020 Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 I thought they were the Cruise Denying Cartel. My mistake twangster, Ogilthorpe, Skigoofy and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FionaMG Posted August 4, 2020 Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 47 minutes ago, WAAAYTOOO said: I thought they were the Cruise Denying Cartel. My mistake Haha that's a good one too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Day Two Whoa! That was psychedelic! The Royal Transporter brought me to Adventure of the Seas in Quebec City. Quebec City is a wonderland old walled city rich in history and Voyager class is a real sweet spot as cruise ships go. I think scored big time with the Royal Transporter team. I'll have to mention them on the post-cruise survey. JLMoran 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 This is an overnight port of call for Adventure so let's poke around a bit in daylight and later at night. I was looking for the Funicular. Low and behold it's right there not far from the ship. JLMoran, Skigoofy, parkyy2k and 1 other 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Quebec City is very walkable and it has a European flair. America represented. This place can't be all bad... JLMoran and Skigoofy 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Quebec City played a critical military role defending the colony from would-be intruders such as the pesky Americans. The original gates to the walled city resembled those found here on La Citadelle de Québec. The finest military technology of the 1800's. JLMoran and Skigoofy 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Hey now, be careful where you point that cannon. The war of 1812 is over. Skigoofy, JLMoran and S0nny 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 The City gates have be expanded in modern times to accommodate the vehicles of today. These used to be the size of the gates on La Citadelle. A little taste of Europe right here in North America. ellcee, DDaley, Skigoofy and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Time to head back to the ship... taxi! JLMoran, Ogilthorpe and Skigoofy 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Back on the ship I thought I'd check her out. Free sushi samples in the Promenade! With an overnight stay there was time to explore at night. Ogilthorpe and JLMoran 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 A pretty City during the day Quebec City is equally attractive at night. JLMoran, Skigoofy and Ogilthorpe 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 You can come and go freely from ship so I returned to the streets of Quebec City at night. JLMoran and parkyy2k 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Did I mention it's 5 o'clock everywhere all the time? JLMoran, Ogilthorpe and Skigoofy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Getting late it was time to head back to the ship. I think I'll transport back to Adventure a little later on, it's a pretty cool itinerary. I booked an early morning Transporter time. This time I know the ship I want to check out next... JLMoran, Skigoofy and USCG Teacher 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WAAAYTOOO Posted August 4, 2020 Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Alaska to Quebec City ? How long was that transporter trip ? JLMoran and ellcee 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 15 minutes ago, WAAAYTOOO said: Alaska to Quebec City ? How long was that transporter trip ? The line was about 5 minutes long. It's sort of the riding the Ultimate Abyss. First time riders get a quick orientation session, next time should be faster. Skigoofy, RickinSTL, S0nny and 5 others 7 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2020 Quick update: I plan to update this thread primarily once per day with a goal of stretching this out as long as it continues to be feasible. In the interim (and as a hint of what's to come) please enjoy this 15 second video: The Cruise Junkie, ellcee and Ogilthorpe 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Day Three Riding in the Royal Transporter is a lot like riding the Ultimate Abyss. Keep your elbows in at all times but otherwise it's a fun ride. Now onto the next ship on this virtual fake cruise... "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated?" - Mark Twain "It ain't over till it's over." - Yogi Berra "I don't have to believe everything I read on the internet. Only time will tell" - Me Given the rumor mill that has been in full swing I'd thought I'd return to my favorite little ship with the biggest heart - Empress of the Seas. For those that haven't heard speculation fed rumors have Empress leaving the fleet. Royal Caribbean denies these rumors so I'm going with that. Just in case, I'm planning this next segment of my virtual cruise on my favorite little ship. As long as she is being offered I'll keep booking cruises on this little gem. Debating her fate can be experienced in other threads, this is my small tribute to her and I thank you for keeping this thread that way. JLMoran, Skigoofy and Ogilthorpe 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Welcome aboard Empress of the Seas. We'll enter into the Centrum. JLMoran and Ogilthorpe 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Aft of the Centrum is the Schooner Bar. Ogilthorpe and JLMoran 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Empress has a unique Viking Crown Lounge. JLMoran and Ogilthorpe 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 The best Boleros in the fleet! Skigoofy, ellcee, JLMoran and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twangster Posted August 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Time for sail away with a Diamond and above event: Sailing past the largest cruise ship in the world while on the smallest cruise ship in the fleet. I looked at my watch and it was 5 o'clock. Cheers! Ogilthorpe, JLMoran and Skigoofy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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