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Feeling Discouraged....


kittysoul

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I finished my first RC cruise last month... and have my next one coming up in May.  I was on the Facebook RC cruising pages (various ones) and it seems that the tipping questions always come up (as they do in here, I know too)...  people have made me feel nothing but horrible now...  After hanging out in these boards for months, i am still confused about the tipping stuff.... on Anthem last month, I paid my prepaid gratuities...and then put 50 dollars in an envelope and left for our cabin steward at the end.  I thought I had done right...and felt good about it... until today, I am in the Anthem of the Seas FB page, and all of these folks are in there shaming each other about what they leave... saying the prepaid gratuities dont even really get to your room steward, and so you must leave them at least 20 dollars per day extra... or at least 100 dollars at the end of the week.... it seems like no matter what you do, someone is always going to come along and shame you into feeling like it wasnt enough.   I just want to make sure I understand what the real norm is before my Harmony cruise in May.  Should I bump up my amount to 100 for the cabin steward..   I know, everyone should do what they can and think is right, but with so much conflicting information, i am overwhelmed with it all now.  

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Don't let it bother you.  Everyone tips their own way.  Tipping is included so anything you give is above and beyond.

Imagine how I feel/felt when I tipped my Genie $200 for a 9 night cruise with my family of 4 and then come back to see people saying they tip $50-$100/night/person to their Genie......I'm not going to tip $1800-$3600

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Ok, first, if you're reading a forum where people are shaming other people, leave that forum.  That's unnecessary.  We don't do that here. There's no reason for you to feel badly about a cruise like that. 

$50 is plenty because it truly is on top of what is expected.  If you WANT to leave more, that's fine - if you want to leave less, there's nothing wrong with that either.  I've left less, I've left more, depending on my particular room steward.  

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Just now, kittysoul said:

 100 per day??  who are these freakin' people?? geez!

Ha, right? And if they can swing it, good on them. But that's not the average person.  I have to pay my dog sitter almost that much a day as it is, I am not paying my room steward that much on top of it, lol.

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It's very subjective. You do what you think you should do. To me, as long as you pay your gratuities, anything above that is great.

 

I have a lot of issues with the way people speak to one another online and try to stay off most of the groups. There is discussion and disagreement which is fine but once shaming is involved I tend to check out. Also, I've been wrong myself and perceived comments the wrong way - it happened recently and I did nothing about it, only to have the person apologize to me personally in case that I was offended. I read the situation wrong and was glad my temper didn't get the best of me.

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$50 is very generous.  Whoever said that the daily grats don’t get the room attendants doesn’t know what he** they’re talking about.  They most certainly do.  Ignore that forum. Someone is just trying to make themselves look like big spenders.  That kind are usually making up for some personal shortcoming.

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I agree with @SpeedNoodles , leave that FB group. No one needs that nonsense. I find that this site is all I need for all things Royal Caribbean.

You're already paying a good bit amount of money for your vacation and whatever you want to pay above and beyond the standard gratuities is fine. There's no need to practically put yourself into debt just to tip people.

Quite frankly, There's no way to verify that the people saying they've paid $50-$100 PP/PD (YIKES!) is true!

 

 

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If you do no more than the prepaid gratuities and the 18% billed on your charges, then you are doing exactly what is expected and nothing more is necessary.  

Unless they are an actual, current crew member, no one in that group can tell you what monies go where, anymore than they can tell you how it works at your local Red Lobster.  

Anything at all you leave is above and beyond, and people trying to one-up each other by throwing numbers around are just making noise.  You do what you do and consider it none of their business ?

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Facebook is a poisonous enough place, just get out.

I do the automatic gratuity, and sometimes I'll tip more...sometimes I don't. I have had stewards go above and beyond and I did slip them a bit more ($3 to $4/day extra), and I have had ones who did the bare minimum and didn't deserve any extra. Now, if that money does or does not go to them is between them and their employer, it's not my fault or problem. 

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First off, I'd get off that FB group...who needs that sort of negativity in their life. ?

I tip on top of the auto-grat, but I do tip throughout the week anytime a staff member provides an exceptionally hospitable interaction. I keep a few 5s, 10s, and 20s handy and probably tip out an extra $100 to $125 weekly.

For a few examples, I'll pop a $20 on the first day to our cabin steward as I kindly ask for a corkscrew to open the wine I've brought onboard. If I ask a question about something and any crew member reacts with a tremendous spirit, I'll probably give them a $5 handshake on the spot. If I bring one of my wine bottles to dinner, I'll tip the waiter a $10 or $20 upfront to avoid the corkage fee while also benefiting them for creating a better dining experience. In addition to $5 handshakes throughout the week, I'll likely tip an addition $20 or so to the cabin steward at the end of the week as well, preferring to hand it to them directly. I've found that giving $$$ handshakes really greases the wheels to an amazing cruise experience.

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Every cruise I have done some extra but nothing crazy.  I think a rating of 10 on the post cruise survey is also very valuable for them and to let them know how much you appreciated them and that you won't forget them on the survey is another way to show appreciation that they seem to be very happy about.

 

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The only time I did not tip was because, honestly, I completely forgot. But, don't feel bad- tipping was a choice I made but not everyone does. Many people do not even tip because they prepay gratuities. $50-$100 total is extremely generous, but $50-$100 PER NIGHT reaches into outlandish territory (I'm not even sure if crew members could accept a tip this large, so I have a hard time believing that this person was being truthful)

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28 minutes ago, Zacharius said:

Facebook is a poisonous enough place, just get out.

I do the automatic gratuity, and sometimes I'll tip more...sometimes I don't. I have had stewards go above and beyond and I did slip them a bit more ($3 to $4/day extra), and I have had ones who did the bare minimum and didn't deserve any extra. Now, if that money does or does not go to them is between them and their employer, it's not my fault or problem. 

I totally agree! We prepay our tips and add some to our room steward if he does a great job. That's what a tip is for...service.

 

1 hour ago, kittysoul said:

 I am in the Anthem of the Seas FB page, and all of these folks are in there shaming each other about what they leave... saying the prepaid gratuities dont even really get to your room steward, and so you must leave them at least 20 dollars per day extra...

That rumor has been going around forever. 

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1 hour ago, kittysoul said:

I finished my first RC cruise last month... and have my next one coming up in May.  I was on the Facebook RC cruising pages (various ones) and it seems that the tipping questions always come up (as they do in here, I know too)...  people have made me feel nothing but horrible now...  After hanging out in these boards for months, i am still confused about the tipping stuff.... on Anthem last month, I paid my prepaid gratuities...and then put 50 dollars in an envelope and left for our cabin steward at the end.  I thought I had done right...and felt good about it... until today, I am in the Anthem of the Seas FB page, and all of these folks are in there shaming each other about what they leave... saying the prepaid gratuities dont even really get to your room steward, and so you must leave them at least 20 dollars per day extra... or at least 100 dollars at the end of the week.... it seems like no matter what you do, someone is always going to come along and shame you into feeling like it wasnt enough.   I just want to make sure I understand what the real norm is before my Harmony cruise in May.  Should I bump up my amount to 100 for the cabin steward..   I know, everyone should do what they can and think is right, but with so much conflicting information, i am overwhelmed with it all now.  

Personally, I think $50 for the Stateroom Attendant was very generous.  I wouldn't get discouraged just because there are some wealthy people who throw money around.  The myth that prepaid gratuities don't get to the Attendant is, well, just a myth.  For a normal non-suite room, the daily tips (per person) are broken out so that the dining room staff earn about $9 and the Stateroom Attendant about $5.50 daily.  

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I cannot even tell you what I tip each cruise. I tip what I feel is appropriate. Don't think I've ever tipped more than $50. We are, very low key people, we don't ask for much and keep a tidy room. I'll admit, seeing the big tips people leave for a Genie freaks me out, because we would barely use the person, even less if we are cruising with friends not in a suite.

Edited by sk8erguy1978
typo
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11 minutes ago, sk8erguy1978 said:

I cannot even tell you what I tip each cruise. I tip what I feel is appropriate. Don't think I've ever tipped more than $50. We are, very low key people, we don't ask for much and keep a tidy room. I'll admit, seeing the big tips people leave for a Genie freaks me out, because we would barely use the person, even less of we are cruising with friends not in a suite.

...AAAAAAALL of this.  Kudos to those that tip big....I just dont. But its because I dont ask a lot. I try to make service peoples jobs as EASY as possible. Me and my fam are very low maintenance and feel wrong for asking things of others. I figure God gave me two arms, two legs, and half a brain, so I can do most things myself...I prepay gratuities and will tip above that if service goes above and beyond.   

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1 hour ago, PRC said:

If you do no more than the prepaid gratuities and the 18% billed on your charges, then you are doing exactly what is expected and nothing more is necessary.  

I agree 100%. This is how I operate on my cruises, and nothing wrong with that at all.

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1 minute ago, SteveinSC said:

I figure God gave me two arms, two legs, and half a brain, so I can do most things myself...

YES! I remember once staying in a suite, we needed ice, I called the Suite Concierge for the request. He responded: "right away sir, I'll have your Stateroom Attendant deliver it." I thanked him, hung up, and said to my wife ... "I feel like a jerk, I could have asked the Stateroom Attendant." ??

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There is what you're supposed to do and what you are comfortable doing when it comes to tipping. RCC alleviates some of the stress by allowing you to prepay gratuity and adding it into all services. I always tip a bit extra, not because I feel guilt or obligation but because I feel the service warranted it. I am low maintenance but I appreciate not having to make my bed and tidy up for however long I am on the cruise. I have work associates who like to over tip for the 'gram/culture/narcissism. Those same people often go home upset at how much debt they are in. No one knows your situation, so do exactly what you feel comfortable doing, they appreciate it either way.

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51 minutes ago, Ampurp85 said:

I always tip a bit extra, not because I feel guilt or obligation but because I feel the service warranted it. I am low maintenance but I appreciate not having to make my bed and tidy up for however long I am on the cruise. 

 

Just because I love being Keanu and playing the devils advocate, but if (part) of your standard gratuities are not already going to making the bed and tidying up, what are they going to? To me, keep the room tidy and made is the job that they're already getting your gratuities more. Personally, they'll have to do more than that to get something extra from me. 

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@Zacharius Maybe its worded wrong but what I am saying is I don't ask for much other than them doing their job. Some people expect towel animals and them to remember exactly how they left this or that. Also there are people who will refuse gratuities because they felt like this basic service was not up to their standards. I always leave money for hotel housekeepers because I think cleaning up behind people takes a special type of person. I am not filthy or high maintenance but I know a lot of people are. My extra is the steward doing their job with a smile on their face. I am also one of those people who never tip at like a Starbucks or fast food place because they never do extra in my opinion.

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1 hour ago, Branderson610 said:

I just pay the prepaid gratuities and keep it moving. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I did exactly what the cruise suggested.

Me too. Don't see the point or feel obligated to paying gratuities twice.

Not to mention that the cruise lines added pre-paid gratuities so you don't have to worry about tipping.

And...I think it a bad precedent to tip extra. It lowers the standard of service. I've always gotten good to very good service on a cruise but  I've yet to get service over and above what I expected.

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4 hours ago, kittysoul said:

Thanks to you both! @SpeedNoodles  and @dodgestang ... I know i shouldnt listen to these people and i definitely would be better off to leave a group like that, you are very right.  and... 100 per day??  who are these freakin' people?? geez!

They are people siting behind their laptops writing things which may be true but then again may not be!!  i could say i left $200 per day as a tip just to look good and appear better than others, but in reality i may only have left $50 as a whole like you did. People Bullshit just to look good ignore them and do as you wish.....BTW im scottish and the only thing we tip is our glengarrys lol 

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I was under the impression that even when you tip someone cash, that money is documented and then put in to the same pot as prepaid gratuities and divided among everyone, I know for sure I heard that about dinning room staff, is it not the same for cabin stewards or does it change when a guest has already prepaid and then tips cash during the cruise?

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@swimking1 I waitress part time and I can tell you that cash is not documented unless you want it to be. I think if you leave cash at the service desk, then it is divvied up among your intendeds. But I'm sure in like 95% of cases, the individual who receives it gets to keep it.

Also to each their own, you can tip extra or not. It's the porters job to solely handle luggage, yet we tip for that.

Funny story, in Egypt they will rush to do things you could do yourself, just for a tip. I can get my own toilet paper but there are ladies in the bathroom waiting to do that for you so they can get a tip. They will take your camera for a picture, without asking, then put hands out for a tip. They gave you the slightest information, they want a tip. My brother said I was setting a bad precedence because I always left $1. But I knew what a dollar was to me and how much it might mean to them.

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20 hours ago, kittysoul said:

 people have made me feel nothing but horrible now...

First, I agree with everything that everyone has said.

Now, let me come at this from a different direction. Once upon a time, I was a cocktail waitress in college. Meaning, I have worked in an environment where tipping is done. And I saw ALL sorts. From the entitled "you should be paying me for the honour of waiting on me" types to the "hey, you're pretty, here's a hundred bucks for existing" types. And everything in between.

I think, at the end of the day, people who are in the service industry (at least myself and those I worked with as a waitress and later on when I was a bartender) get that not everyone is loaded with cash to throw around. I do think there is a general expectation from those who wait on you to have you pay your bill for what you have ordered and (where/when appropriate) leave a gratuity. And, yes, on the rare occasion, it's super nice if someone rich gives you more out of the kindness of their heart (it happens) or because they are trying to show off.

But here is the thing. On the other side, they can tell usually (especially after spending a week dealing with them) who is showing off, who is being kind, who is being an ass, and who is giving what they can. While you have entitled people everywhere, when working in the service industry personally, I would tell you that if you were a decent client who didn't berate me or demand ridiculous things or constantly complain then I'd already feel like I'd won. If you paid your expected RC gratuity then, excellent. Good to go. If you'd tipped me ON TOP of that, even if only $10, then I'd have been super appreciative that you'd thought enough of my time and attention to go above and beyond.

At the end of the day (as I think you have gathered from the other responses) you have nothing to be ashamed of. Anyone trying to make you feel ashamed has their own issues they are dealing with and chances are you could have tipped double what you tipped and someone would have said it still wasn't enough. There are some people that it will never be enough for. From the other side of the table, from the service side, I'd rather have a kind client who tipped me the absolute minimum but wasn't a PITA all week. Having dealt with PITAs, I can say there is no amount of money in the world for putting up with some peoples' *ahem*.

I'd be like, "Here's your money back. GTFO."

No shame. You were more than generous.

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21 hours ago, SpeedNoodles said:

I have to pay my dog sitter almost that much a day as it is, I am not paying my room steward that much on top of it, lol.

We’ve always been lucky to leave our little fur babies with family but we are planning a family cruise in April 2021.  We have four dogs and guess we need to start saving now to be able to afford their kennel cost. 

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14 minutes ago, Psycho and Barb said:

We’ve always been lucky to leave our little fur babies with family but we are planning a family cruise in April 2021.  We have four dogs and guess we need to start saving now to be able to afford their kennel cost. 

Yeah, I have no family, and they are far too big to bring to anyone else's house (we need a large yard with a 6' fence to contain them, lol). Kenneling doesn't work well for us for many reasons, one of which is that we feed raw, and kennels aren't equipped to handle that.

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