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Pima1988

Your funniest cruise story

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I have 2.

1st story

I work for a national mens clothier.  I go off and buy what I think is a great outfit for my husband.  White/navy blue striped cotton sweater, and navy shorts.  One a.m. we were at the pool and it was kind of chilly, but he knew it would warm up, so he wore this outfit.  It is @ 10 a.m. and he is sleeping on a lounge chair next to me...snoring.  Passengers are walking by and glaring.  Thus, I nudge him so he will stop snoring.  He stops snoring, but they are still walking by and mumbling under their breath.  Huh? I don't get it, why are they looking at him this way.   A few mins later a bar staff member walks up to me and asked if I needed a drink.  I looked at him, looked at my husband and broke out in laughter.  His outfit was almost identical, just different stripe design on the sweater.  I am positive all those passengers thought he was part of the crew sleeping on the job!

2nd story

We as a family (siblings and cousins) decided that we were going to surprise my Mom for her 80th with a cruise.  She got wind and said she was not going.  We (siblings/cousins) decided we were still going and celebrate my Mom's Bday without her.  My brother is a practical joker.  He went to Staples and had a 24x32 picture of my Mom printed up.  In his mind, she was going on this cruise with us no matter what.  He took it with him on the ship, but kept it a secret.  Formal night rolls around and VOILA he pulls this picture out for the photos..  I can't recall the Captain's name, but he was European and needed staff to translate.  There is my brother asking the Captain to take a picture of him holding this huge picture of my Mom.  The captain could not wrap his head around he was being asked to do.  I am pretty sure when he got back to the bridge, he told everyone, now he has seen it all for the photo ops.  

My brother also makes calendars for every family member as a xmas gift.  Every month is a photo.  That yr. her bday month was the picture of the Captain holding this picture of her

 

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So, our first cruise with my brother and sister in law on the Navigator. One cruise day after a morning by the pool, screwdrivers, bloody marys, beer, etc my wife says "let's get changed and have lunch in the MDR" to which we all concur. We get to the MDR and were seated with a group of folks from Missouri. Table conversations continues (my brother in law is a TALKER, he could be a politician) our lunch arrives and I chow down. My wife asks "so where in Missouri are you folks from"? One of the gentlemen replied " just south of Platte,  just across the river from Leavenworth, KS". At that point in time, I quietly sit back, wipe my mouth and said "Leavenworth, yeah, I spent some time there." Conversations ended, there was a total silence and the Missouri folks started looking out the window, their plates and anything except us. Of course, after I explained to them that I spent a year at the US Army Command and General Staff College at Fort Leavenworth when I was on active duty they livened up and we were all friends again. We still get a chuckle out of that. :3_grin:

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Their was a couple on our last cruise that danced every night in the Centrum wearing matching outfits. Don't get me wrong. They were very good dancers. They just looked like they were on a vacation from their jobs at the Author Murray Dance Studios. I don't know if everybody else would think it was funny, but I did.

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Last November, we were watching sailaway from Independence's helicopter pad.  We grabbed a bench and enjoyed the view.  There was a know-it-all lady with a large family group who was impressing her family with many "facts" about cruising.  Our favorite was her showing her family the 2 bridge wings and how there was a captain on each wing to maneuver the ship.  As a former Naval officer, we had many giggles about this "fact".  Then again she maybe she is right with at least 2 non-RC ships crashing into piers over the last year!   🤣

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7 minutes ago, melski94 said:

 Our favorite was her showing her family the 2 bridge wings and how there was a captain on each wing to maneuver the ship.  As a former Naval officer, we had many giggles about this "fact".  

Our nephew is an officer on the USS Truman and I'm sure he would say, as I think you would, that one Capt. per ship is enough! 😄

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46 minutes ago, FManke said:

Their was a couple on our last cruise that danced every night in the Centrum wearing matching outfits. Don't get me wrong. They were very good dancers. They just looked like they were on a vacation from their jobs at the Author Murray Dance Studios. I don't know if everybody else would think it was funny, but I did.

I just remembered another one....from the same cruise.

4 adult siblings.  Twin males, another brother and a sister. Brothers were constantly walking ahead of their sister and barely talked to her during the entire excursion my wife and I had the "pleasure" of having them on. I'm not even sure why she was there. One of the twins had 3 cameras with him and literally took pictures of everything. The entire bus had to wait at Peggy's Cove, which put us behind schedule because the other twin was at the gift shop buying caramel corn! In Halifax I actually bet my wife during a lunch break that they would go to Mc Donald's for lunch. Needless to say, I won. Back on ship a few nights later the 3 brothers were taking formal photos with each other, sans sister. Again. Now at the airport. We had the pleasure of having the brothers on our flight home, sitting across the aisle and one row up from us, talking and sifting through the 3000+ photos they had taken of themselves. 

I'm not sure if any of this is funny, but it was something to behold. Cruise ships are great for people watching!

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I remember in 2017, on Grandeur as we were heading to Bermuda around Hurricane Jose, this dude, who was hammered, no shoes on, was called up to the Centrum to attempt Michael Jackson's Thriller.....

......No Wait ..... That was me ..... 😀

Oh Dear Lord ..... it was as ugly as you could imagine, good thing Tyna recorded it so I can keep reliving it every year.

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3 minutes ago, coneyraven said:

I remember in 2017, on Grandeur as we were heading to Bermuda around Hurricane Jose, this dude, who was hammered, no shoes on, was called up to the Centrum to attempt Michael Jackson's Thriller.....

......No Wait ..... That was me ..... 😀

Oh Dear Lord ..... it was as ugly as you could imagine, good thing Tyna recorded it so I can keep reliving it every year.

Too many Old Bay Bloody Marys?

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We were in the process of docking in Bermuda, everyone is standing at the rails looking out and talking when one passenger asks another "Why are we docking here way out of the way at the end of the island, doesn't go all the way around the island" ?    The other passenger couldn't help themselves, and said no the water is just on this side of the island ! 

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23 hours ago, rjac said:

"Leavenworth, yeah, I spent some time there."

I immediately knew as soon as you said that you most likely were at CGSC.  My husband loves to do that same line just to see people's reaction.  

 

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22 hours ago, melski94 said:

Last November, we were watching sailaway from Independence's helicopter pad.  We grabbed a bench and enjoyed the view.  There was a know-it-all lady with a large family group who was impressing her family with many "facts" about cruising.  Our favorite was her showing her family the 2 bridge wings and how there was a captain on each wing to maneuver the ship.  As a former Naval officer, we had many giggles about this "fact".  Then again she maybe she is right with at least 2 non-RC ships crashing into piers over the last year!   🤣

After a bridge tour, a passenger asked the Captain if he would wear his Blues instead of the white uniform.  She said the blue one made him look more "Captainy".  The others on tour all all kind of cocked their heads a little and looked puzzled at the word choice. 

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21 hours ago, coneyraven said:

I remember in 2017, on Grandeur as we were heading to Bermuda around Hurricane Jose,

We were on Anthem going out of Bayonne and it was suppose to go to Bermuda.  Jose and Maria (?) were barreling down.  48 hrs prior to the cruise RCCL contacts everyone on the cruise and said we are going to Nova Scotia.  If you want to cancel, we will give you a FCC and pay back your costs.  If you want to go, we will give 50% of the cost + 250 OBC.  They stated that the ship sailed away full occupancy.   The funny thing there was on the sail away a group of 15 people wearing designed tee shirts.  It stated sail away to Bermuda, and than a red line crossed through it with handwriting saying Nova Scotia. It didn't end there.  The next day was a sea day.  They traveled as a group and all had tees, drunk 1...15 Think thing 1 and 2, Dr. Seuss.  I had noticed them throughout the day in different spots on the ship.  We went to trivia, late afternoon.  There they are.  I look around and count the numbers on their shirts.  Other people did too.  All of the sudden we realized there were only 14 people, even though there was a drunk 15.  The group said, that because they got the trip so cheap now (RCCL OBC) they didn't want to jinx it and decided nobody would be #13.  They were the talk of the entire ship, bc everyday they wore a new tee shirt.. Day 3.Bermuda/slashed through and Portland Maine written.   Day 4 was the funniest...Bermuda slashed through and BRRR written because we were now in Canada, the last week of Sept.  These were professionally done and prior to us leaving the temp was suppose to be in the mid 70s in Halifax.  We get there and it was 91 degrees.    

 

 

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My only cruise so far was when I was about 10 years old (22 years ago).  It was a 7 night cruise on Majesty.  During the trip I somehow became "popular" on the ship.  I was a big kid who always looked older for my age who would be on the basketball court and occasionally the hot tub having a great time.  I had the soda package and would just use the fountain dispensers... One of the nights I wasn't feeling to well and I stayed in the room during dinner.  My mother went to one of the bars and asked the bartender to use the phone.  Keep in mind that I'm 10 years old.  The BARTENDER asked if she was calling the room to check on (my name).  She was all kinds of confused and was wondering if I had been a regular ordering drinks at the bar.  It is something that we laugh about to this day.

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Me, husband and our daughter were sailing on Holland and we meant an older lady who used a walker to get around.

Her walker had a bike horn on it and if you did not move out of her way she would honk away.  So thru out the cruise we'd hear her horn and laugh.

My husband was a frequent victim of getting the horn blasted at him.

So as we where waiting to collect our luggage, we hear her horn.  

We all three turn and look, there she is strolling by but we notice on her blouse, it 20 plus name tags from the crew members.

My daughter turns to us and says "Guess they did not get out her way, wonder what she did to them to get their name tags" 

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On our Canada/NE cruise on the Jewel in 2004 we were on the younger end of the average age of the non-crew ship inhabitants.  We were selected to be on stage for the "Love and Marriage" game.  I ended up giving a fairly risque answer to one of the questions during the game. I don't recall if we won the game or not.  What I DO recall was the realization the next day that I had gained instant ship fame because they kept playing the recording of the game over and over and over on the TV in everyone's staterooms the rest of the week.  The entire rest of the cruise I kept getting winked at, side-eyed, slapped on the back,  and high-fived everywhere on the ship.  "Hey, you're the girl from the "Love and Marriage Show ....".  

(To reflect back on that cruise, and my earlier response to this post, at least they didn't have footage of my pathetic attempt at ping pong on the ship. As it is my husband won't ever let me forget that fiasco).

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I have always been "colorful" and not one to follow the beaten path. I have had a couple occasions  where staff had to ask me nicely to stop fishing off my balcony. This time I decided to go a slightly different direction. Brought my daughter to Coco Cay when she was about seven and came up with a "good way" to spice her trip up some. I brought her to the little shallow beach away from the popular snorkeling one to do some "special snorkeling". Being a fisherman and diver over the years I developed a collection of old galleon "pirate coins". brought one along tucked in my waist band. The water on that south beach was maybe knee deep, sand bottom and of course gin clear. We were maybe thirty yard from shore and I tossed the coin out in front of us without her seeing... I nudged her and kept her on course to "find" it... I remember her making noises through her snorkel when she "found" it.  
"Daddy its a pirate coin!" Wow was she excited! Mission accomplished  (or so I thought). We exited the water and she ran off showing the coin to every person she saw. Before I knew it,  the other areas emptied out and we were "joined" with a couple thousand "treasure hunters"... She's 27 this year and getting married. I had that coin set and unbeknownst to her I will make it available for her to wear when I walk her down the aisle... 😀

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Last summer I was on my first cruise with my sister, and her family to Alaska on Explorer OTS.

On the second night, we had dinner in the MDR.  For dessert, a bunch of us also ordered espressos or cappuccinos.

When the Assistant Waitress brought out the coffees, she puts down my nieces drink, and I start laughing out loud.   She used a small oblong gravy boat instead of a small coffee (espresso) cup.  

Of course all our meals in the MDR we would look out for this waitress, as well as kept ordering espresso/cappuccinos to try and get a gravy boat again.

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