Traveling with daughter - Father not traveling

[MeaganA]

Hi fellow cruisers!

I have a possibly complicated question. I have a 12 year old daughter with my ex husband. We share custody although she lives with me full time and has not seen her father in over a year. The decision to not see him has been her decision. And he does not push to see her because all the do is fuss and honestly she is at an age where she has made the decision that she does not want him as part of her life. Its a long story, but he has anger issues and has not been there for pretty much anything important in her life although always invited ect. (sorry just wanted to give a little info). 

Anyways, I am remarried and therefore, I do not have the same last name as my 12 year old daughter. My TA said that because we are sailing to Mexico that I will have to get my ex husband to sign consent for her to travel. This is the first ive heard of this and we are traveling in April. My ex is the type that he would refuse to sign it, not because he really is concerned but in order to feel like he has some power over my daughter and would basically be his way of punishing her for deciding to not see him anymore. 

Do they really require these papers? What would a child do if they didn't even know their biological parent? If we cant get him to sign them does that mean we would just need to stay on the boat when we are at port? What are my options here? Any suggestions or experience would be very helpful. 

Thanks so much in advance!

[Kyle_cardinalsfan51]

When I went with my mom (different last name than me) on a cruise a long time ago, I remember she had a notarized document signed by my dad stating that he knew I was leaving the country, where I was going, when, etc.  I've seen a lot of posts about people having it just in case but normally they weren't asked for it. I don't think they checked on mine either but that was a long time ago.  

If it is a closed loop trip (begin and end in US), chances are slimmer that they ask since you are not leaving the country with a child.  Might also depend on if you have sole legal custody or joint.  But, if you can get it, its better to have it than not as you can be barred access if asked. Not saying for sure, but its possible.  This is a precaution for the company so parents in a squabble for custody don't use the trip as an excuse to run off with the kid.  If the father refuses to sign, you can always get a court order as this is not an unreasonable request.

In addition, always be sure to bring documentation that links you to your child legally with different last names. From RC website:

"Must present child's valid passport and visa (if required) and the child's birth certificate (original, a notarized copy or a certified copy). The name of the parent(s) and the child must be linked through legal documentation." Basically things that show your last name now is in fact the same person as listed as mother on the birth cert.

Sorry you have to deal with this so close to vacation.  My parents split before I was 2 and never got along so I feel your struggle trying to get things done with the other half.

My experience is a decade old so hopefully someone else will come by to confirm or correct anything that may have changed.

[VolFanInGa]

Sounds like your T/A is on the right track.  This is on the US State Dept website.

 

A parent or legal guardian departing Mexico with minor children should carry a notarized consent letter from the other parent if traveling separately. INM requires at least one parent to complete a SAM (Formato de Salida de Menores) for all minors departing Mexico with a third party. Travelers should contact the Mexican Embassy in Washington, D.C., the nearest Mexican consulate, or INM for more information.

Link to the page

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/international-travel/International-Travel-Country-Information-Pages/Mexico.html

[ChunkyMonkey]

I am a 1st time cruiser, but do travel out of the country often, and yes, if he has not signed away his parental rights, you will need a consent form.  Mine usually consists me typing  "My name is  XXXX and I give permission for XXXX to take my child XXXX out of the country on dates XYZ"  and he signs it, along with is contact info, and it is notarized. I also got and bring certified copies of their birth certificates for traveling, so I didn't have to worry about the originals, and I also carry the letter stating he gave permission for me to get their passports.    I have never been asked for it, but I would rather be safe than sorry. 

I travel to Mexico frequently by air with my kids, and they also have a different last name, I've never had a problem with customs, they just look at our passports, and since you are not allowed to stand next to your kids in customs,  they have asked the kids who I was and my full name.

 

 

[Erika1971]

I also have a signed, notarized document that my daughters' dad is aware that they will be traveling with me.

[bhageerah]

TA is definitely on the right track, we have twins and the wife has primary custody and they share her name.  When we got the passports and sailed on our first cruise with them we had to get permission from the father before we were allowed to sail.  

[twangster]

I've cruised a number of times with a minor child, sometimes with her mother and sometimes just her and I.  We all have different last names.  

The background and logistics of the relationship are irrelevant.  Custodial rights and court orders may or may not be irrelevant.

In my case the birth father gave up his rights and it was so noted in a court order.  When we travelled with the birth mother we carried that court order with us.

When I travelled with the minor child without the mother on the cruise, I carried the court order and a notarized letter from the mother.  

For the first cruise with the mother we didn't say anything, we just checked in normally.  Presented our passports and didn't call out the minor child and background.  We had no issues and not a question was asked. 

On the second cruise without the mother it was like they were bound and determined to keep us off the cruise.  When challenged, I had the notarized letter, when challenged I had the court order.  When challenged the letter specifically addressed our excursions, gave me temporary power of attorney for medical reasons and stipulated the cruise line could change the itinerary.  A supervisor was called over.  Another supervisor was called over.  You could see them processing all my documentation as if they were trying to rack their brains finding another reason why shouldn't be allowed to board.  When they couldn't find one, they allowed us to proceed.  Longest check in ever.  

At the end of the cruise when we reached CBP they hauled us into secondary.  They poured over the same documentation again.  They separated us, questioned us both then compared notes.  I then had to call the mother and hand my phone over to the CBP agent who asked her a number of questions.  In the end we were allowed to go, 45 minutes later. 

I've since cruised a number of times with the child, both as a minor and over the years after she was 19.  Before she was 19 I always had a notarized letter but was never challenged like I was on that one cruise.  The lesson of this is - be prepared and know exactly what you need.  You may fly through check in and think it was a waste of time getting all the docs together or you may be challenged.  International kidnapping is a thing.  Human trafficking is a thing.  They are only trying to protect children. 

Be prepared but don't bring it up unless they do.

 

[KLA]

Yes, I have two experiences with this. 

When I was young and was leaving the country for the first time with my mom (airplane to Cancun), we almost didn't make it because my parents hadn't realized my mom would need the notarized letter. Thankfully, my dad was able to fax (!!!) a copy to the airport and they allowed us to proceed on to Mexico.

In the second case (most recently in January), we had to bring a copy of my brother's death certificate so that my niece and her mother could cruise with us. (There's also a funny story of my brother's travel size urn being stopped by Port of Miami security and COMPLETELY accidentally making a security guard feel like he did something wrong because we've become morbid people with sick senses of humor, but that's maybe a story for another time.)

There's a very well intentioned reason for this being in place, though in cases such as what OP mentioned I can imagine that being ridiculously frustrating. That said, it does sound like you'll need that documentation of proof of either consent/loss of custody/etc. of the other parent or you'll run the risk of not being allowed to board. 

[tiny260]

3 hours ago, MeaganA said:

My TA said that because we are sailing to Mexico that I will have to get my ex husband to sign consent for her to travel.

If the child's last name is different than your last name (Since you said you were remarried), then yes you have to have a document from your ex agreeing to/approving the travel.

If you have a legal document that says you are the legal guardian of "Child's Name", that should be all you would need, but I would have both just in case. You don't want to get to check in at the port and your daughter not be allowed on the ship.

Think of this from the cruise lines perceptive, if the rolls were reversed and it was your husband taking her on the cruise and his intentions were not nice, he could take the cruise to another country and then not get back on the ship and disappear. You would be very upset with the cruise line for allowing this, the legal document CYA's them and you.

[Andradelm]

I will be traveling with my kids, I kept my Married name,even if divorced to avoid having issues traveling.

I got 2 joining rooms 1 room with 1 kid-the other room with my friend and my other child. Will royal carribean request a child consent form for 1 parent trip even if we have the same name or will their be any issues due to 1 child will stay in joining room with friend...