Teens on their Own

[WannaCruise]

Our son is 13 and for the first time asked if he can wander on his own on our Symphony cruise coming up.  First night we have Hairspray and he has no interest seeing it, so this is his opportunity to be on his own.  We do not get the internet package so no way to contact him.   But he's pretty reliable.

At what age did you let your child wander on their own?  Did you specify an area to stay in?  Meeting spot (or just back at the cabin)?  Any tips?  

Not worried so much on the ship about safety but just wondering what age, and if others have boundaries?  Only thing I'm a little apprehensive about is that it'll be the very first night.

PS - Up until now, he's had no interest in the kids club (which we don't push either as we consider these cruises our family vacation together).

[bhageerah]

We have twin 13yo girls, we are going to let them do SOME things on their own but not wander alone as of yet.  We will have defined meeting times as well as defined areas to stay in.  I know that we are protective, but I also know that they can not handle being in that huge of a space all on their own and would get lost extremely easily!  I think that it is a personal choice, and knowing your children and how much responsibility that  your child can handle.  I know that some are able to handle the responsibility of going off on their own at 13 but I know that ours are not, they have an issue finding their way around the local amusement park without guidance and we go there quite a few times every year! So under that premise I know they would get completely disoriented while being onboard a massive Oasis class ship! 

[Lovetocruise2002]

We started letting our kids wander (just to get pizza or drinks) on Anthem in March.  So they were 9&11 at that point.  Then on Mariner and Indy, we let them wander some more for more extended periods of time (still less than an hour).  They were 10&12.  On Harmony next month, the plan is that they will not be having all meals with us.  They plan to head to Johnny Rockets etc. on their own.  Also, they might just meet up with us for shows after having dinner on their own some nights.  This was their request, not ours.  We agreed to give it a try.  I told them if they get lost, they better call our Genie 

[Hoski]

Different ages for each of my kids. Oldest who has always been very mature about 9 we let her sign herself out of Carnival kids club and go back to room on own only. Middle daughter was just on her first cruise at 12 and we gave her freedom.  She is typically shy but loved the teen group on Navigator.  Our youngest will probably be 18 before she is willing to separate from me.

[WannaCruise]

2 hours ago, bhageerah said:

We have twin 13yo girls, we are going to let them do SOME things on their own but not wander alone as of yet.  We will have defined meeting times as well as defined areas to stay in.  I know that we are protective, but I also know that they can not handle being in that huge of a space all on their own and would get lost extremely easily!  I think that it is a personal choice, and knowing your children and how much responsibility that  your child can handle.  I know that some are able to handle the responsibility of going off on their own at 13 but I know that ours are not, they have an issue finding their way around the local amusement park without guidance and we go there quite a few times every year! So under that premise I know they would get completely disoriented while being onboard a massive Oasis class ship! 

I don't think you are over protective at all, and feel the same (DH is totally fine with it, I'm nervous).  Good that your girls have each other.  Yes...Oasis class is huge.  We have been on Allure once, but that was 3 years ago...and also it's the first night that DS would be on his own so no time learn his way around.  I suppose we can leave him in the arcade or something but he'd probably go through a lot of games in the 90 minutes for the show. But probably setting  meeting time would work, and having his stick to one area (or back in our room)

[WannaCruise]

1 hour ago, Lovetocruise2002 said:

We started letting our kids wander (just to get pizza or drinks) on Anthem in March.  So they were 9&11 at that point.  Then on Mariner and Indy, we let them wander some more for more extended periods of time (still less than an hour).  They were 10&12.  On Harmony next month, the plan is that they will not be having all meals with us.  They plan to head to Johnny Rockets etc. on their own.  Also, they might just meet up with us for shows after having dinner on their own some nights.  This was their request, not ours.  We agreed to give it a try.  I told them if they get lost, they better call our Genie 

That's a good way to ease them into some freedom.  Lol...lucky you'll have your personal genie.

[WannaCruise]

27 minutes ago, Hoski said:

Different ages for each of my kids. Oldest who has always been very mature about 9 we let her sign herself out of Carnival kids club and go back to room on own only. Middle daughter was just on her first cruise at 12 and we gave her freedom.  She is typically shy but loved the teen group on Navigator.  Our youngest will probably be 18 before she is willing to separate from me.

Makes total sense.  Kids are totally different and it's their maturity and comfort level versus a number.

[HeWhoWaits]

Whatever latitude you give your son to "wander" at home is appropriate for on the ship. It all depends on the individual's maturity level (some would argue that I shouldn't be allowed to wander on my own at 55).

[JBC]

My kids are 9 and 11 and we will let them go on their own for short periods, like hitting water slides when we are sitting out of view at the pool, or going from the pool to the room, going from the room to Sorrentos or something like that.  I don't think we would have a problem with them "wandering" the ship at 12 or 13, as long as it wasn't for more than an hour or two at a time, and we had a set plan to check in with each other.  My wife is more hesitant with that stuff than I am.  I always point out to her that after about age 9 or 10 I was out of the house all day and my parents had no way to contact me and my rule was just be home in time for dinner.

I would just tell my kids we will be at the Schooner Bar, come check in with us every hour.        

[WAAAYTOOO]

6 minutes ago, JBC said:

my rule was just be home in time for dinner.  

Ah...yes....the good ol' days.  Our rule was to be home when the street lights came on.  This was back when kids learned how to entertain themselves !

[tiny260]

Just now, WAAAYTOOO said:

Ah...yes....the good ol' days.  Our rule was to be home when the street lights came on.

+1 on this street light.

The comedian Sinbad does a skit on this and it is hilarious, that and his Mom being able to hit him across the room with her shoe. 

[melski94]

If its his first night of being along, you could suggest the teen club.  They have a meet and greet the first night at 8 pm.  Then he has some freedom but you also know he is being supervised.  I understand the concern of the idea that it is a family vacation but we have found that we hang out as a family during the day as well as eat dinner together but in the evenings we can see a show or hang out at a bar and the teens can hang out together too. That is a nice balance and works for us. 

If you don't like the idea of the teen club, then I suggest boundaries.  For example, he can hang out on the boardwalk or the room.  Last year, my 11yo at the time found the size of Harmony quite overwhelming even though we had been on several cruises (Freedom class).  He wasn't comfortable on his own but my older teens had the freedom of the ship.  

We do purchase the internet package as a way to keep in touch.  We had too many times where we tried to meet up and just missed each other.

[WannaCruise]

11 hours ago, HeWhoWaits said:

Whatever latitude you give your son to "wander" at home is appropriate for on the ship. It all depends on the individual's maturity level (some would argue that I shouldn't be allowed to wander on my own at 55).

At home he goes to friends on his own, but he has his phone on him.  So its a bit different.  But get what you're saying.

[WannaCruise]

9 hours ago, melski94 said:

If its his first night of being along, you could suggest the teen club.  They have a meet and greet the first night at 8 pm.  Then he has some freedom but you also know he is being supervised.  I understand the concern of the idea that it is a family vacation but we have found that we hang out as a family during the day as well as eat dinner together but in the evenings we can see a show or hang out at a bar and the teens can hang out together too. That is a nice balance and works for us. 

If you don't like the idea of the teen club, then I suggest boundaries.  For example, he can hang out on the boardwalk or the room.  Last year, my 11yo at the time found the size of Harmony quite overwhelming even though we had been on several cruises (Freedom class).  He wasn't comfortable on his own but my older teens had the freedom of the ship.  

We do purchase the internet package as a way to keep in touch.  We had too many times where we tried to meet up and just missed each other.

Overall he'll join us at the shows.  It's just that he is totally not interested in seeing Hairspray (he's watched the live version and the movie when our DD watched it) and it's not his thing.  So not gonna force him.  But yeah...maybe we'll limit him to an area...I'll have to look up where the arcade is relative to the boardwalk (which is our room area) so at least he won't get totally lost.  Guess the good thing is if he is lost he can always ask a crew member.

[WAAAYTOOO]

56 minutes ago, WannaCruise said:

I'll have to look up where the arcade is relative to the boardwalk (which is our room area)

On Allure and Oasis the arcade is right ON the Boardwalk.  I think it's the same for Harmony but I cannot remember for sure.

[mom2mybugs]

We were on vision for my 12 year old's first cruise and we let her go to the teen center the first night with her 16 year old brother and wander the ship.  The 2nd night she had a group of friends and the 16 year old didn't want to go so we let her go.  We told her to go back to the room by 11, and to check in at the teen center if something happened.  During the day was easy... She knew where I was parked in my chair and she walked by and checked in every couple hours.  She did the same on freedom and now she will be 16 (eek... When did that happen?) on allure and I think we will have the same pattern.  In terms of meals, our little vegetarian would be wasted on samba grill or chops so we will go our separate ways or we will snack with her at windjammer before she heads to the teen center.  She is pretty responsible most of the time and doesn't get anxious on the ship.  

   I think whatever you and your child feel comfortable with can totally work!  Jane

[Todd W]

we took our 2 boys a few years back on their first cruise.  they were 12 & 14 at the time and i was of course concerned about letting them have time of their own.   However we found a plan that worked great for us.   I made sure both kids had cheap watches before the cruise for starters.   First day on the ship our plan was check back in with us ever 2 hours.  We made sure they knew where we would be and where they would would be at any given time, within reason.   If we changed our schedule or if they changed location, we left each other sticky notes on our cabin room mirror.   The primary rule we set in place for them, if at any point you missed check-in times with us, they were going to be attached to our hip for the rest of that day as well as the next.    Surprisingly, we had no issues what so ever.   kids generally checked in earlier than expected and because of their extra "freedom", we found that in a lot of cases, they would find us and hang out with us for a bit.   as each day proved to be successful, we would ease up on the check in times and give them a little bit more freedom.   Our kids had a blast, we had some awesome, worry-free adult time and still had plenty of family time as well.     system worked great and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.