Gears

File this under etiquette. I can tell you as an experienced cruiser, it's not pleasant having people eating in areas not designated for eating. Windjammer, etc. are staffed and equipped to handle food, dishes and clean up. Bars and other common areas are not. As @toodle68 said, the pool deck especially.

I think your real strategy is to turn it into a drinking game... 

And this is why nations have borders.
Pepperoni needs to be whole, and the thicker the better, to give you something to bite into and drag a little bit of cheese off with it.  :)
 

I have one piece of advice if you decide to do Samba.  I have offered this many times on other threads.
They save the best cuts of meat for the END.  They will try and fill you up on cheaper cuts.  They certainly aren't BAD options but if you are a real beef lover I recommend you pass on most of the preliminary "rounds" and save plenty of room for the picanha, which is the last cut they will offer you.  I am not a big meat eater so it was WAAAYTOOO much meat for me but I will say...that picanha absolutely melted in my mouth.  I thought that saying was just a fabrication, but it actually can happen !
I enjoyed my meal at Samba Grill.  I love the venue with the water passing by in that little stream.  They have (or at least, they did, when we went there) Brazilian dancers and it was a fun meal.

I wanna be...your Windjammer! (a la Peter Gabriel)
Sorry...always wanted to do that! 

It's 6pm where I live as I am reading this.  My mouth just started watering.  Seriously.  Stop.
I have to cook something for dinner and I have no idea what or where to start.  I give up.  Time to book another cruise.

We stayed at the Langford Hotel at 121 SE 1st Street. It's downtown in an older part of Miami. Small place, older hotel but clean, nice and close to the port. Meets all your criteria.

I wanna be...your Windjammer! (a la Peter Gabriel)
Sorry...always wanted to do that! 

I wanna be...your Windjammer! (a la Peter Gabriel)
Sorry...always wanted to do that! 

In my quest to travel lighter next cruise I may skip MDR on formal nights and just do WJ.  

Hey, it was Carnival.  When in Rome...

Let's just say a glass fifth with a plastic top somehow got stuck in my waist band whilst on shore and coming back onto a Carnival ship it didn't set off the metal detector I walked through.  Record was five at once.  Did I say that out loud?

We stayed at the Langford Hotel at 121 SE 1st Street. It's downtown in an older part of Miami. Small place, older hotel but clean, nice and close to the port. Meets all your criteria.

Here some picture to prove the Lobsters in WJ (Although I am not the one who post it in blog).
And yes it was eat as you can , so we took two every time (they were small) and once finished we went for some more until  we were full and anymore would bring us from the point of enjoy them to the point we wish we did not eat so much :-) 
 
 

That will depend on your port of call. We haven't been to a port of call that specifically required passports, just some form of gov't photo ID (driver's licence in our case). I lie...I recall needing it in Key West at one point...but that is because we are non-US citizens.
But as @Sabrinaklaisaid...check the Cruise Compass.

Everything is locked in the safe unless you need it. That includes passports. If we're getting off the ship, we take just enough cash we might need and a piece of gov't photo ID other than our passports. Credit card only in the case we foresee needing it to buy something.
We wear no jewelry either on excursions. That includes watches other than our recreation watches already covered in sand and sea salt.

Basically...cards and cash go snorkeling too.
Here's a beach trick...bring some sort of container, put your stuff in it and bury it in the sand. Of course, you have to be able to find it again, but thieves are quick to strike and will rifle through your stuff quickly...they won't go digging in the sand. 

Sounds like something for a group cruise activity.

Everything is locked in the safe unless you need it. That includes passports. If we're getting off the ship, we take just enough cash we might need and a piece of gov't photo ID other than our passports. Credit card only in the case we foresee needing it to buy something.
We wear no jewelry either on excursions. That includes watches other than our recreation watches already covered in sand and sea salt.

This thought goes through my mind every day.

I highly recommend trying dinner in the Windjammer on one of you cruises! Less pressure to dress up, go on your own time, and there really is a great variety of foods available. Something that I didn't think I would enjoy, and now something that my husband and I love to do after a busy day in port. 

Definitely accurate that dinner is nothing like breakfast in the Windjammer.  
The appeal of the Windjammer for dinner is two fold:
You don't have to dress up The sheer variety of food Dinner is when you see the greatest variety of food in the Windjammer, and it seems to also be the most creative.  There are special themes on some nights, cooking stations, etc.  

Wow...you have missed out. The WJ is the most relaxing and quietest place to have diner on the ship in my experience. It is NOTHING like breakfast......and its way better than lunch. I get a seat by the window overlooking the ocean almost every time I am there. Its less than half full....the food selection is great....and it takes a lot less time than the MDR.
 
There have been some cruises where I didn't eat at the MDR once for diner. You really need to try it!

@CGTLH had some nice pics in his last live blog.  He did WJ recon most nights.  That might give you a good visual.