Carlos A.

I'll take an obstructed view balcony over a virtual balcony every single time (if the price is right).

You could even be notified while you're at your cabin on the first day.

You could even be notified while you're at your cabin on the first day.

I spend every minute I can on Coco Cay. Usually beach, to the pool, then back to the beach. But then again I can float with my drink or read in the shade for hours. 
 
Once a down pour happened about an hour and half until all aboard. Everybody rushed to the ship. We waited it out for 20 minutes then had the entire beach to ourselves for about 45 minutes. It was fantastic!
 

Looks like they’ve decided to have a little fun with the mishap!

I know they have been having trouble getting everyone to complete the E-Muster drill but I think they might be reminding me a little bit early for my June cruise. 

Kinda freaked out when my phone went off, telling me I have 30 minutes to report for a safety brief.
....
Except that my cruise isn't until May 14. 🙄

Four of us went to Raices last year. All had Mofungo (spelling?). Two with chicken, one with beef and one with pork. The friend who ordered the beef Mofungo spent the next two days in her cabin after visiting the infirmary in the wee hours the next morning. The Dr. said food poisoning. So...word to the wise.

Another issue I have with Nassau is the people themselves. I don't expect them to kiss my a$$ but generally, I have found them to be very unpleasant or even rude. Last time I went ashore, I had one vendor very nicely yell about his excursion and when I said, "No thanks," he told me to go f**k myself. I'm sure there are nice people in Nassau but I think I'll just stay on the ship.

The food on Virgin is fantastic, and nothing is considered specialty, it's all included. I loved sailing on them. They aren't for everyone, that's for sure, but in some ways they really blow everyone else away. 

Virgin Voyages looks interesting to try at least once. And they're matching loyalty status from Diamond and upwards until March 31st, 2023.

Here's the info for ya!  😀
https://www.virginvoyages.com/sites/sailing-club

That's interesting.  I did not know that.  I may have to check this out.  Thanks !!

Virgin Voyages looks interesting to try at least once. And they're matching loyalty status from Diamond and upwards until March 31st, 2023.

Virgin Voyages looks interesting to try at least once. And they're matching loyalty status from Diamond and upwards until March 31st, 2023.

I don't understand how this could have caused "crazy backups at the remaining food venues".
The Solarium Bistro is one of the quieter venues so it's not like 100s of people were being displaced into the other venues. And the guests who were part of the group and were eating there were not extra bodies on top of the ship's normal passenger load so they, in turn, would have been removed from the equation at the other venues. So unless my logic is flawed surely one would balance out the other...

This isn't true.  You get the status of your partner but not the points.  So whoever has the higher status applies to each person, but each person only accumulates their points individually.

The Solarium Bistro for OP's cruise was in the CP. It specified that for that cruise that : 1. all the meals would be Kosher, 2. Reservations were required, 3. A per person charge of approx $460 .00 for the week was required. The venue sold out and was removed from App and CP soon after.
Could Royal have communicated better, absolutely. Are you due compensation for a closed venue, absolutely not.

So it went like this: 
"My ex friend is suicidal, so I want you to give me the balcony cabin to ME instead of her please..."
 
Speechless

After reading this, if true, I have a whole new level of respect for Royal customer service having to deal with this. Only thing I could fault Royal with is letting you and your friend on the ship in the first place

Wow. Just wow.
The only thing I see RCCL did that is questionable was to let you board in the first place.  
They gave you a second cabin.  You only paid for one.
RCCL is not responsible for your relationship.
Of all the ridiculous complaints I've seen from first time posters, this one takes the cake.
Suck it up buttercup.  You and your friend ruined your vacation... not RCCL.

I fail to see where any of this is the fault of Royal Caribbean. 

Like @AshleyDillo stated before we are a fan site but I promise we are not Royal apologists. When they get it wrong we do opine here. I read your complaint a few times and what keeps jumping out at me and it was your very first statement, your friend of 20+ years & yourself participated in a heated exchange at check in. Honestly I am surprised Royal allowed you to board.
When we are angry we have much difficulty controlling our emotions which as an outsider (Royal representatives in this case) may be ill prepared to deal with/mediate. Royal is a company providing a vacation experience, they are not crisis counselors. I am sad that your sailing was not what you had imagined, but the company can only do so much. I'm sure as much as you articulated the problems so did your cabin mate ex-friend. Royal reps/security really has no idea who to believe, they ultimately just wish peace and no escalation.
Yes, the cabins may have been unoccupied but they leave some cabins empty for deep cleaning and such during some sailings, at least one became available eventually for you. I had to deal with Royal security once when my 16 year old didn't show up at the cabin at the pre scheduled time and after an exhaustive search and not hearing from her (we always text) we did ask for security to help, they were amazing. Could not have been more compassionate. She heard the announcements of her name and came bouncing up to the guest services desk like what did you do mom, I'm so embarrassed. She did text, we did text but the internet was down, no one realized this so no texts were going through; she did everything right explaining where and what time should would return, she was in the teen club via the text.  They cared, they were compassionate, I also maintained my composure while articulating my issue and that was hard. I promise you that was HARD.
It breaks my heart that you and someone you hold so dear have gone your separate ways, I am so sorry for that. Honestly though, I don't know what else you would want from Royal they are not arbitrators in disputes, they provide a sailing for the monies. If you choose to not take advantage of all of the offerings and have a bad experience due to things beyond their control I think they have abided by the terms of the agreement. 
Do you want your money back because the fight made you not enjoy your sailing? That is not really a resolution that would be available or entertained. I whole heartedly wish you peace and joy, I wish for you to heal from your hurting as well. It seems a piece of you is lost when the friendship ended, looking to Royal for some healing is looking in the wrong place. Please book another cruise, just you! I bet this experience can be turned around, prayers up Maria 💙

I had the worst experience of my life on my latest cruise.  Short and sweet...My friend and I got into a heated argument as we were checking in.  It immediately escalated from there.  
I was on a 5 day/4 night cruise on Allure of the Seas.  Lets just say my friend of almost 20 years are no longer friends.  Long story short...I went to security three times.  Immediately after boarding, again on the second day, and then was escorted out of my room with all my belongings into a cabin in the middle of the ship.  On the third day, I went to customer relations and again asked to be put in a room of comparable value of what I paid.  I also mentioned that the lady they left in the cabin with the balcony was suicidal, which she was.  Long story.  Anyhow...I was asked to meet with the head of security because of this accusation.  I told them everything that had happened the day prior could be proven, and that they just needed to watch the CCTV footage for our section of the ship, which will prove my story.  Again I asked for a balcony cabin.  And again I was told that there are no cabins with balconies available.  I told the head of security that I had spoke with a cabin steward earlier, and he informed me that the ship is only at 60% capacity, and there are plenty of balcony cabins available.  Finally on day three, they suddenly had a balcony cabin.  One of our shore excursions was changed to something similar, but not what I had paid for.   I have sent four letters trying to speak with Customer Relations.  When they finally did contact me, it was a minimal effort response, they were sorry for my experience, and they will look into it.  We have been going back and forth. That is not a reasonable resolution for me. Their response is always, we have reviewed your complaints, and it is going up the chain so that others do not have to endure what I had to endure.  I keep repeating that that resolution does nothing for my waste of 3500.00, my loss in pay, not to mention that I am no longer friends with the individual that I went on the cruise with.  Also RCC states that there is no one else to report to, that it has escalated to the" highest level possible", and all they can do, is to do better moving forward.  I'm sorry, but this is not acceptable with me, and the woman I have been corresponding with does have to answer to someone else, and that is who I would like to speak with.  Any ideas on how I can get past this woman and speak with someone that understands that 85% of my onboard experience was not a happy and memorable trip, and nor was there any "quality service"?  I was told by customer relations basically that 'at least I did have some good moments to reflect back on.   All correspondence has been through the "executive office" and apparently there is no one above that level to deal with these issues that they have already reviewed.  Any help is appreciated.  Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Only advice I could give would be to work with a reputable TA to see if you can't plan something. This site is sponsored by MEI Travel and they have agents who can shop for the cruise you are looking for.  I know you have been burned before, but a good TA is invaluable for this type of planning and coordination.