Fireman973

Ready to be onboard !!
 
 
 

Having spent a lot of time on these forums my experience is very different from yours.  Over countless threads there is good input and information from most regions around the world.  I can recall no thread where a poster from a non U.S. region has been frowned upon in any way and certainly not deemed or labeled inferior.  

A dog walks into a restaurant and sits at one of the tables. The waiter immediately shows up and promptly points to a sign on the wall that says " No dogs allowed !!"
The dog looks at the waiter and says " So who's smoking ? "
This was my late dad's favorite joke I still laugh more at his telling it than the actual joke  

Customer: "Waiter, this coffee tastes like dirt!"
Waiter: "Well sir, it was fresh ground this morning."
 
And no, this wasn't the regular coffee served by RCCL. ?

What do you get, when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Ele-phino!

A skeleton walks into a bar and says "I'll have a beer and a mop."
 
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One looked at the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Here are two favorites from my childhood. Not because they are all that  funny, they don't really make any sense, that's the point,  but because of the reaction people have after you tell them. They either just look at you, because they don't get it or they have a kind of funny, nervous laugh, because they don't get it, but they think they should.
Kids do love them though.
 
Q: You're rowing your rowboat across your front yard and your front rear wheel falls off. How pancakes can you fit in a dog house?
A: None, because dogs don't like ice-cream on their bones!
 
Two seals are sitting in a tub.
One seal says to the other seal. "Pass me the soap."
The other seal answers, "What do I look like? A chair?"

A man goes to a psychiatrist and tells the doc he is having a dilemma...some times he thinks he's a teepee ...other times he thinks he's a wigwam.  
The shrink says, "I think I see your problem, you're two tents"

A man sits near another man on a bus.
"How's it goin'?" he asks the guy.
"Um...I'm pretty sure the wheels go 'round and 'round."
 

What do you call a fish with two knees?
A two-knee-fish!

Why should a staircase never be trusted?
They are always up to something.
 
What do you call a number that never stays in one place?
A roamin' numeral
 
Why aren't Koalas actual bears?
They don't meet the koalifications.

Those are all adorable!

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?
He had a reptile dysfunction.

Well this is a funny, unfinished joke that I couldn't tell or get the feeling right by typing it. always made me laugh. Its a little blue but funny. Video below.
 

Why is being in a magic act so tough on rabbits?
Hare today...gone tomorrow.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.....

How many lawyer jokes are there?
2....the rest are true!

A pirate goes into a bar and the bartender says: "Long time since I've seen you , man, you look terrible".  The pirate says: "I feel fine".
The bartender says:  "Well, you didn"t have that wooden leg last time I saw you".  "Well, I got into a battle and a cannon ball hit me in the leg,  but I'm ok"
"Well you didn't have that hook on your arm either".  The pirate says:  "Got in a sword fight and lost my hand".
The bartender says: "What about the eye patch?"   The pirate replies: " Well a bunch of sea gulls flew over the boat and when i looked up one of them crapped right in my eye."
The bartender says :" How did that make you lose your eye?"  The pirate replies: "It was the first day with the hook".
 
 

Why shouldn't you write with a pencil that has a broken tip?
Because there's no point.

A dog walks into a restaurant and sits at one of the tables. The waiter immediately shows up and promptly points to a sign on the wall that says " No dogs allowed !!"
The dog looks at the waiter and says " So who's smoking ? "
This was my late dad's favorite joke I still laugh more at his telling it than the actual joke  

A dog walks into a restaurant and sits at one of the tables. The waiter immediately shows up and promptly points to a sign on the wall that says " No dogs allowed !!"
The dog looks at the waiter and says " So who's smoking ? "
This was my late dad's favorite joke I still laugh more at his telling it than the actual joke  

A dog walks into a restaurant and sits at one of the tables. The waiter immediately shows up and promptly points to a sign on the wall that says " No dogs allowed !!"
The dog looks at the waiter and says " So who's smoking ? "
This was my late dad's favorite joke I still laugh more at his telling it than the actual joke  

A dog walks into a restaurant and sits at one of the tables. The waiter immediately shows up and promptly points to a sign on the wall that says " No dogs allowed !!"
The dog looks at the waiter and says " So who's smoking ? "
This was my late dad's favorite joke I still laugh more at his telling it than the actual joke